So, not going to the gym for a couple of weeks has made me pretty wimpy. Not only that, but I was shamed into trying the StairMaster and climbing an endless set of stairs was pretty unnerving. I almost panicked when I started getting tired after only five minutes! On the plus side, I felt quite tall on that contraption. On the minus side, there was a woman taller than me on the StairMaster to my right so I couldn’t pretend I was the biggest giant in the gym. So, the story of how I ended up on the StairMaster is more interesting if I embellish it. It’s rude to … Continue reading My arms are about to fall off. →

OK, so the question is how long is it going to take me to upgrade SuperEggplant from a PII-450 to a P4-1.4. Should be much faster, though I don’t know how much difference that will make for the people accessing it from the outside. Too bad I’m not mean enough to make my sister cough up some dough for all of this. What I really should replace are my old Macs, but I can’t do that to them. Went to the gym today and the 22YO was as surly looking as ever since the melon-headed guy wasn’t around. There are two “older” women there (older meaning they’re probably 30-ish rather … Continue reading Woo! The new computer works. →

A very attractive female friend of mine got married about a month ago and I just found out today. I’d be mad at her husband, but he’s a really nice guy. Worse was I found out that the flirty waitress has a boyfriend. That was no real surprise, but when I found out his “occupation,” I actually got fairly depressed. I’m still not feeling right. I have no idea who this woman is, and even though no one’s flirted with me for years — aside from a 50-year-old lesbian and the older men at the gym — there’s no reason that she should have this effect on me. I think … Continue reading My fantasy life took a big hit today. →

Yesterday, I got back late after going to a birthday party for my friend Brandon. I got her what I usually get someone when I’m out of ideas: pr0n. In fact, I got her a Blueboy, just like Cindy Lauper sang about in “She Bop.” But we were at the Red and Black Cafe which is incredibly crunchy and every time I see a completely vegetarian menu, I feel like having some meat. Like a nice pork sandwich with some ham and some bacon. Mmmm. All I had at the Red and Black was a couple of pints of organic beer. I didn’t eat until I got home and found … Continue reading The things I eat. →

What the hell is up with that Hawaii show? I know I’ve complained about it before, but where the hell are all the Asians? And what the hell was up with that fake Japanese crapola? That “Japanese” ma and pa were incredibly off. Buddhaheads don’t have blue eyes. The way you get that stocky and very slightly Asian looking is when some white dude with yellow fever has kids with an Asian woman and that kid marries another white person because WHITEY RUNS THE COUNTRY and ain’t no Asian guys getting any action. And don’t go waving Norm Mineta in my face. OK, maybe in California, where there are more … Continue reading My sister is on my list. →

Radio is like fishing, I figure. Most of the time you don’t know if the fish will even be there. Tonight I talked to a new country, Romania, and also talked to Italy, France, and Poland. It was a fun night. And I finally made it back to the gym. The intriguing woman was there, working her “ass off” as it were. I was there for over an hour, and she was on the exercise bike for most of that time. She spent about 10 minutes on the treadmill, and then disappeared. Why do I find her intriguing? I dunno. Maybe it’s because she has an iPod mini, or because … Continue reading A good night on the radio. →

So the Lakers still lost. Hooray! When they assembled the dream team with Gary Payton and that darn Karl Malone, I thought they’d be unstoppable and I was just hoping that they wouldn’t make as far as they did. Today they even brought in the worst of the worst: Rick Fox. It made the loss that much more fun to watch. I even called Il and told him to watch the 4th quarter. He was convinced he’d jinx the game, too. Oh, and I told Il that I knew the woman who sat next to us at the David Sedaris show looked familiar. She works out at the same gym … Continue reading I didn’t jinx the Pistons. →