Not only did I wear my MIT hat, but I also watched Eureka today. I like all the fake geek talk.

I heard this story today from a co-worker that his buddy used to ride the TriMet bus (our public transportation) and had the pleasure of sitting next to a couple of meth-heads and overheard their conversation. The best I ever did was sat behind a guy writing a manifesto that included:

1. Have sex with as many women as possible, but only blondes and sometimes redheads.
2. Learn to kill. Start with squirrals. (sic)

Ok, so I’m not quite sure about that list, but I’m sure I have it written down SOMEWHERE.

But I’m getting off the topic of what was overheard. The meth-heads were going to go to OHSU for a medical study to map the effects of methamphetamines on the brain. One of the guys was saying crack screws you up, but meth makes you clairvoyant. His plan was to go to the cafeteria at the hospital and pick up the residents there. My co-worker then said ridiculed the clairvoyance of the meth-head, asking, “How likely is it that a doctor in residency is going to go out with a jobless meth addict?”

A hell of a lot more likely than with a Software Engineer from Megacorp.

I blame the heat. So Saturday was only in the mid 90’s here, but it was also about as humid as it could get. It even started raining at one point. And then Sunday was a another scorcher with a high, at the airport which is several degrees cooler than in town, of 101°F, and yesterday was 97°F. Out at my co-worker’s fancy weather station near Megacorp it was 104.4°F and 99.4°F.

Meanwhile, at Megacorp, I’m in trouble for voicing my opinion on the technical aspects of the project I’m working on. Pie-in-the-sky estimators think everything is fine and working, but I’m convinced that people are ingesting controlled substances. Well, I guess that’s what I get for caring. My boss says I’m supposed to “affect change” but what he really wants me to do is to agree to whatever is given to me and then pretend that I had something to do with the decision. Which is fine since we’re all getting laid off soon anyway.

Meanwhile, my 90-year-old dad is doing his best to make the heat unbearable, closing the windows when it gets cool out, turn off fans, leaving doors open to rooms that don’t need air conditioning (like upstairs bathrooms). Life in the heat is a joy. (The average temperature in Oregon for this time of year is the low 80’s!)

It was supposed to be 106°F today, but it only got up in the 90’s. Unfortunately, it was also quite overcast and humid. I stayed inside most of the day and read a book my sister gave me, Summer of the Big Bachi but nothing seemed to go right for the protagonist in the end.

I did leave the house to get my hair cut. The woman who usually cuts my hair is leaving, so this is my last haircut from her. Either that, or I have to drive out of the neighborhood to get it cut. I suppose it’s only fair, since she drives in from Damascus (far away) to get to work. Her new place is halfway between here and there, or at least that’s the theory.

Last night my buddy said he wanted to go out and have a beer. I knew this was a bad idea on a school night. I didn’t stay out that late, nor did I have many beers. However, it did mean that after I got home I stayed up for a bit and that meant I was kind of late to bed.

So Monday a guy sent me an email asking, “Are you going to be at the ham radio club meeting on Thursday?” I didn’t think much about it, but I figured as the treasurer I should show up more than twice a year. Tuesday I cancelled my Thursday session with Dave the Trainer. This morning I packed up all the crap I have to take to the meeting (checks, receipt book, rubber stamps, etc) and put them in my car. I stayed an hour and a half later at my miserable job than I usually do on Thursday, and then started the drive towards the meeting. I was halfway there when I realized, this isn’t the last Thursday of the month! I’m pretty cheesed off about the whole thing, but why would a guy say, “Are you going to the ham radio club meeting on Thursday?” a week and a half early?

So I’m not hating my co-workers so much now that I’m resigned to the job I’m doing. However, the situation at work isn’t all that pretty. People are getting axed, and that’s never very cheery. So it’s not like I needed anything else to go wrong this week. I mean, it’s supposed to be over a hundred degrees for the next two days, and then not too much cooler for a couple of days following that. I’m a big fan of 70-degree days, myself. At least I have this air conditioner that I run for about one week out of the year. Maybe this is the week.

Hmm. Come to think of it, I’m a bit late on this. But I was late on the resolutions in the first place. Let’s see how I’m doing.

1. Attend more parties. I think I’ve gone to just about everything I’ve been invited to. Movie nights and etc. I even went to a barbecue that I didn’t want to. I don’t get invited to too many things, so this one has been easy this year.
2. Haven’t eaten nor have I even found anyplace that has Turducken. Last time I even mentioned Turducken was in the elevator at the Omni Parker House in Boston. The guy I was rambling at said, “Come on down to Texas. We’ve got it.”
3. I haven’t visited Reno or Las Vegas or somewhere else in the Southwest. Well, I sure as hell am not going to do it in the middle of the summer.
4. I haven’t hiked any trails in the gorge. There’s still time for that.

So, at megacorp I’d be only 1/4 and they’d probably rate me as a failure at this point. My sister has mid-year resolution for me, too. Don’t quit my job until I’ve bought her a birthday present. HAHAHAHA.

We had our “block” party today where the neighbors on my street from several blocks descend upon one neighbor’s pool and then go across the street for a potluck. We had an incredible turnout, so the food actually ran out. I felt like an incredible cheapskate because I brought a quart of potato salad. The trick with the potato salad is that people like the $0.99/lb stuff from Fred Meyer. In fact, it was the salad that ran out first! My buddy Greg even did a side-by-side comparison between the $0.99/lb stuff and the roasted potato stuff, and people hardly touched the expensive stuff. The cheap stuff was all gone.

Which reminds me, I feel like eating a Big Mac. I don’t think I’ve had one in years. They kind of make my stomach hurt, but still, one every few years couldn’t be that bad, could it?

Everyone has certain things that make them nervous, and as a geek I feel like there should be a graph of nervous, and if you’re likely to do it. For example, I’m never completely comfortable talking to my boss about my performance. It’s something I always will do, because I have to do it.

Higher up on the scale is like getting up out of bed and telling the loud kids to go the hell home. I just ran off some kids who were way too young to be out this late (I know, it’s only midnight) and were talking too loudly while hanging out by the school. I’ll do that sometimes, but much more often I just bother the police about it. They’re usually just regular (rich) kids from the neighborhood and they’re easy to run off.

Highest on the scale is actually asking anyone out. I never do that. (Besides, I have empirical evidence that I just get shut down, so there’s really no reason to even have to do anything.)

I’m just writing this all down because I’m still jittery from having to confront the future of America and wonder where their adult supervision is. A childless man living with his elderly parents shouldn’t be the one getting these kids home before curfew, it should be their own parents. BREEDERS, I’M TALKING TO YOU!

I forgot to post anything last night because after a day full of meetings and a trip to the gym to try to exorcise the meetings from my system, I started watching some recorded TV shows and underestimated the time it would take. Genius forgot that Monk and Psych were hour-long shows.

I’ve been hating life at megacorp lately. My manager told me to do one thing, the project lead told me another. My co-worker suggested that I listen to what the manager was saying, and what the manager was saying was misleading. It was frustrating the heck out of me. Fortunately, I’m still a pain in the ass (my manager told me I was the biggest problem and better watch it) but at least I’m not as inclined to give them the finger and walk out the door. I’m supposed to, “take initiative,” and I think that means, “look like I’m leading,” while I’m doing whatever the project needs.

Now that I have that off my chest I can say I work because I have this THING that I look forward to and is my reason for living. That would be nice and poetic. Unfortunately, all I can say is that I work because I need HEALTH INSURANCE and it’s nice that I also get a PAYCHECK. I probably need a new hobby.

I now have the picture of Dave the trainer on my hard disk, but the stupid blogging software appears to be slightly broken and won’t automatically generate a thumbnail. I’m too lazy to fix it myself right now.

It rained on my car today, and the waxing made the water bead up nicely, proving to those who looked closely enough that I am a person who cares enough to wax his car. (Phooey.) Other than that, I have a day full of meetings tomorrow, so I better get some sleep. Can’t start snoring while a Vice-President of Megacorp is telling you about the “bottom line.”

Dave the trainer is a buff but shorter Jewish guy. Well, I don’t know how Jewish, since his dad wears a yarmluke but Dave like pork chops. My sister imagined he was a tall blonde guy. Funny thing is, most of the male trainers at my gym have shaved heads. A co-worker who is a friend of Dave’s emailed me the picture with the subject line, “Dorks.” Or was it, “Geeks?” In any case it’s on my work laptop and not anywhere I can get to without booting up Windows, and I don’t want to do that this late at night.

I was so tired after work that I had to take an hour-long nap. I’m had a series of nightmarish dreams, but after I got through the post-nap fog all memory of the dreams vanished. Weird.

I knew it was time to stop talking to the guy when I recognized that he was trying to push my buttons. But he’s quite persistent, and he’s also the project lead. At one point today he asked me why I even worked on his project. I asked him if he wanted me to show him the web link to “My Paystub.” Sheesh. It’s not that I hate my job, it’s just that this guy is a real pain in my neck sometimes.

Dave the trainer scheduled us for today, since tomorrow he’s meeting his girlfriend’s dad for the first time! That’ll be a workout for him!

Nothing good comes from washing a car. I can see all the dings and dents in crystal clarity. I find out all sorts of dents. And if I go onto waxing, it can take forever. I spent most of the afternoon washing and waxing my new car. I figure one good wax and then I’m going to let someone else do it from now on. Or I’ll use something easier than that rock-hard crap I used today. I found some dings and dents (on a car with 800 miles) and how thin they made the roof! Holy crud.

Well, tomorrow I’m going to spend another day at work with little sleep. I had to drive my friend to an all-night pharmacy because his dog was attacked by a pit bull. He got some bites to show for that and couldn’t bend his knee to drive in and pick up some antibiotics. I got back at a decent time, but of course I had to finish watching the show I was mostly finished with, and get a rebate ready to send in, etc. If I don’t shut up now, I’ll get even less than the six hours I’m planning on now. I hope my friend can make it to the 24H vet to pick up his dog. I can’t believe that the vet is taking longer than his trip to the ER.