I know why I wake up multiple times in the middle of the night to got o the bathroom and it isn’t just because I’m an old man. I usually drink a whole 32 oz water bottle after working out at the gym, and if I’m not paying attention that can be as late as 8:30 – 9PM. And other little things wake me up as well. I think the little things add up so if I’m sore the noises outside wake me up. Or the heater going off at 5:30AM seems to bother me as well. Who wants to get up a half-hour before the alarm goes off?

Today, though the 5:30 alarm woke me up in the middle of a dream that, of course, didn’t make that much sense but at least after walking around the neighborhood without my shirt on and hanging out with two hipsters who were checking out their 3-day-old beards, I sat on a couch while a woman flirted with me. I know, but it’s all the excitement I’ve gotten lately that didn’t involve a chainsaw or almost falling off of a ladder.