Today the workout of the day at the gym was max pullups and max pushups and then 3 minutes of rest. Then we did it again. And again. We did this once before but we had FIVE rounds of this. It only takes about two rounds for my forearms to start hurting. Unfortunately, I wore a t-shirt that I knew was unsuitable for pushups. You see, I’m a big sweater and the t-shirt I wore flops over my mouth when I do pushups. It’s hard to breathe through wet cotton.

So I had to take off my shirt in the middle of the workout and boy did I get comments about how pale I am. Well, I got comments after everyone quit laughing. I carefully maintain this pallor to blind my enemies. Dana the Trainer was laughing so hard she couldn’t do her pushups. She also suggested that I use some of her son’s press-on tattoos next time I pull this sort of stunt. That and a can of ManTan spray-on tan.

My mom left for Japan today and she’ll be gone for three weeks. That means I get to try my dietary experiment with “The Zone”. At least I’ll try it after I figure out what I’m supposed to be doing and after I finish the carnitas that were leftover from the gym party. Nothing better than pork. Unless it’s pork and bacon.

Ha HA! I started messing with my email server and I think I got it finished before midnight. A first for me! Usually I start screwing with my computer and hours later I’m tearing my hair out trying to figure out what I did wrong while wondering when I’m ever going to get to bed. Well, maybe we’ll find out that I didn’t actually “fix” things when I don’t get any email at all.

My timing at the gym appears to be a little off, too. Well, not about everything. I was there when the owner of St. Cupcake was there. Nothing is as attractive as a woman who makes red velvet cupcakes. My sister makes them too, and anyone will tell you she’s much better looking than I am. I know the owner of the cupcake store is married, but who doesn’t want to hang out with cupcake glitterati? It would only be better if there were bacon involved. But really, we were just doing a timed workout today: run around the block and then 21-15-9 reps of dumbbell clean and split jerks, then run around the block again. Believe me it’s hard. I’m getting tired just thinking about it.

In the earlier class I saw people going full-out and look like they were going to throw up from the exertion. On my first time around the block, I stopped to give some people directions to the Lucky Lab pub. Then I was saying hello to people I know from the other gym up the block and I was also chatting with the people I was running with. I again saw the people I gave directions to as I circled around the block and stopped to clarify my directions. I even had to run back because I realized I gave them the wrong street name. All this led to my being behind the Deputy District Attorney (another workout buddy who isn’t a yoot) and having to sprint at the very end of the workout to catch him. I didn’t come in first, but I think we were tied.

My sister will tell you that I talk too much and I talk even more when I’ve been drinking. This may be to my detriment as I end up chatting up people when I’m supposed to be working or working out. I suppose it’s my curse.

Oh, I was told today that we’re doing the “Fran” workout on Thursday. Every time I think about it, I start getting tense and I have to remind myself to breathe.

The weather was quite nice today, in the low 70’s, which is about as hot as a native Oregonian wants it to get. This is also the first nice day that my hay fever wasn’t killing me. This meant I had no excuse to let the grass grow any longer and I spent much of the day doing yardwork. It all still looks like hell, but a little better than when I started. The nice weather also meant that the neighbors started coming out again. I hadn’t seen many of them since last fall unless they were driving by in their cars.

I recall doing some work (the stuff I get paid for) but I was trying to remember what all I was doing that could be construed as “slacking.” I hooked up my Wii again, but I only played one round of “Mario Cart.” I finally remembered that I finished reading another mystery by Michael Connelly. I would have started on the other one I have by him, but I’m missing the book that comes in between the two. Good thing I have Amazon Prime.

So all in all, a lazy Sunday with a little bit of work. I only regained a little weight with all the beer I drank, so I guess I’d call it a success.

Who knew how much fun we could have seeing people from the gym actually wearing real clothes? Not just all gym clothes and stuff? It’s always fun drinking beer and eating guacamole, and extra fun when there’s hidden reserves of pork. (It was in the oven in case you left early and missed it.)

Other than that, Nathan (THH) thinks my graph is off. I could probably do fine making $350,000/year. Also, other people who are close to the other end of the graph think that I’m starting way too low on that end. I may think about it after I sleep off the beer I drank and then hose off my Wii since all the kids (and a retired cardiologist) spent so much time playing it. I just like hearing that it’s not just me, it is a lot of fun. 🙂

I suck at video games. I guess they’re still fun, though. I’m playing things at the lowest levels and just barely winning. At least that means there’s lots harder levels if I get good at them. Right now I’m playing Mario Kart, which is a lot sillier and more fun than my daily commute. I guess I could really slow it down and play NPR and pretend it was my daily commute. Not sure why I’d want to do that, though.

The day I found out that I couldn’t afford to date anyway, my friend called and told me that there were Wii’s available at the Target by work. So I went out with some friends and got one at lunch. This also involved eating a hamburger at Dairy Queen and my justification was in two parts:

1. I didn’t have to get cheese on the burger (thus maintaining my cheeseburger-less streak).
2. Target is near the Dairy Queen.

Of course I didn’t leave work early, and I didn’t miss my workout at the gym so that makes me a bad geek who didn’t play with his brand-new Wii much. I could have skipped the gym since my legs are sore from squats and my chest is sore from pullups. I played a couple of miserable holes of golf and an easy race around the track with Mario Cart but that was the extent of my Wii-ing.

The gym’s blog has yet another spectacular picture of me.

Now I’m beginning to wonder if I’d need to make a lot more than $10,000,000/year to go out with a 34-year-old.