No wonder my contractor wanted me to design my bathroom before he came back. It’s a pain in the ass! I’ve spent hours just looking for a sink! I finally had to resort to looking up what I had already, and since there’s no obvious part numbers visible I had to hang out at the plumbing store for hours to figure it out. I had to pick out the toilet, the Washlet seat, even the g*dd*mn knobs for the shower. And I’m not close to being finished. Do you know how hard it is just to figure out what wall spout to put on your tub? Yeesh. Tomorrow I have to put all of this in some sort of 3D CAD program so it doesn’t all look funny. I just realized I haven’t picked out the tub yet. Ugh.

I know I have issues with rejection and I suck at dating, but why shouldn’t the computer help me out? Well, I went to match.com tonight just to see what it had suggested to me and it told me that I was too picky and it had no women for me. OK, so the only criteria I think I had locked in was age, and the age span was 29-47 (I know, the bottom end is kind of low). But you notice something? THAT’S A SPAN OF NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AND THERE’S NOT ONE FUCKING MATCH. Good thing they have my money already. Jesus H Christ I guess I was looking for some romance (with a woman) and there’s match.com, BONING ME IN THE ASS.

It’s just as well. I usually get on there, send some email, get no reply, and then look longingly at the menu from Laurelhurst Market. Is it almost time to listen to my “friend” who said, “I’ll let you buy me dinner. You’re not going to get anywhere, but you can pretend you are.”

Work wasn’t too pleasant today too, but I can’t publicly reveal any details, but I did get ambushed. Yeah. Whee.

So I found an iPhone app, CardKing, that sounded good when I read about it. It scans the barcodes of all those damn fiddly rewards tags I have on my keyring and then shows them on the screen so you can scan them. But then I read that it doesn’t work with flat scanners, only the handheld scanners. And it doesn’t seem to want to scan in my library card or my Borders reward card. Borders is rumored to be going under (and I’ve heard that for the last year or so) but the library card is something I’d much rather not carry around with me. I never go. And some of my rewards doohickeys are delaminating and will fall completely apart soon. Oh, well, it was a good idea while it lasted.

It’s so sad when the high point of my day is trying to scan my library card into my iPhone.

I felt like shit today and was quite grumpy at work. It was an odd thing to experience. I didn’t feel that bad but I wasn’t remembering things and I was swearing a whole lot more. After lunch, though, I started feeling lightheaded and I left early so I could take a nap.

Before I left, I saw my old manager and he told me that’s how people were feeling recently. They’d feel kind of off for a while until BAM, they’d get sick. So maybe I have whatever thing that everyone else has. Their gift to me, as it were.

I didn’t feel good enough to head to the gym, and I felt the same way I did last Thursday. I guess staying home from the gym had advantages. I got to see TMZ which was pretty funny, and I also saw the new FX show Justified. TV makes things better.

My buddy at work convinced me that some of the unique crap I have, like Japanese folding fans, might actually get some money on ebay. I looked and most of them go for very little money, but I’m willing to put them up there. I found a light and a tripod and I was all set to take some pictures but the battery in my digital camera was dead. Oh, well. They’ll be up soon enough and I hope I don’t lose money on them like I did on some of the books I sold on Amazon. I paid more for postage for some of my computer books than they paid me for them. That’s what I get for not paying attention.

Other than that today was a day like any other. Commute to the big grey box, sit in a cubicle, and realize this is my life. At least it’s payday and I like my co-workers. It could be much worse.

I got an email from THMFIC and he wanted to know if I was sore from the Steve Maxwell seminar yesterday. The answer is yes and no, I’m just plain beat. I’m certainly not as sore as I was from the Swinging Cindy we did last Monday, but my soreness is usually delayed a bit so I’ll see how I’m doing tomorrow.

I actually got a couple of things off of my to-do list today, even between my naps. I’m still feeling kind of crappy and I wonder if I’m going to feel like I’m just about ready to come down with a cold for weeks on end. I suppose I could blame it on hay fever or the change to daylight savings time, but I’m pretty sure it’s not either of those things. In any case, I replaced another piece of plumbing, but it was just the water filter that lasted almost 18 years and was starting to leak all over the place. I also started sorting even more of my dad’s old crap and I think I’m about to start up my regular pilgrimage to Goodwill again. You know how it goes, I see some stuff that might be worth something and I think about ebay for a while until I get tired of thinking of ebay and just carry the stuff to Goodwill. At the very least it’s not taking up space in my house. I’m obstensibly Buddhist, after all, so I’m probably supposed to be a minimalist.

I went to the Steve Maxwell bodyweight seminar today where I learned that Steve has even more ways of kicking my ass. There was no actual ass-kicking involved (though I think he is a second-degree black belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu), just humiliation in body weight exercises. A simple one: 10 pushups, two minutes per pushup (one minute down and one minute up) is incredibly difficult. What about pullups sets where you do a full pullup, then hold for a 10 count at the top, a full pullup, hold for 10 at 50% position, a full pullup, hold for 10 at 25% position, a full pullup, hold for 10 just below bottom, and then a full pullup. These weren’t all we saw in an 8-hour seminar. We ended up with at least 3 sets of 5 minute abdominal exercises. I’m beat up.

I don’t have anything else today. How could I?

Happy DST day, though.

The high point of my pathetic life is my Thursdays where I have a bacon cheeseburger with guys from the gym. It’s not always a sausagefest with me and Matty G but it can be. It makes up for the other nights where I just have a salad for dinner. Well today on the way to the gym I just felt like I was coming down with a cold. When I got there people noticed that it sounded like my nose was stuffed up. I had to just turn around and come home, and I was worried when I didn’t have that moment of energy like when you call in sick to work and feel energetic for a few minutes. Anyway, I’m at home and should be asleep already. If I had the option of staying home from work tomorrow instead of being buried, or if I wasn’t at an exercise seminar for eight hours on Saturday, I’d probably tough it out tonight. Instead, I’m bacon-cheeseburgerless.

Ah well. My life didn’t just start sucking at this moment, it’s just a steady sort of suck. The closest thing to romance I get is reading restaurant menus on the internet or maybe the closest thing to excitement is seeing a large-bottomed woman in high heels try to jump up and see over a grey cubicle wall. I’m not sure, but it’s not good.

Every day this week I’ve been trying to get to sleep earlier because hay fever season gives me great joy and odd symptoms. I take antihistamines when my eyes itch or I start sneezing, but there are other things that happen. My teeth hurt, probably because of my sinuses. I went to the dentist several times and they never did find anything wrong. One guy in Japan filled a non-existent cavity, but that’s what I get for going to a Japanese dentist. The cranky alcoholic dentist in my old neighborhood just banged my teeth to prove they were fine and told me to get out. I also get really sleepy during the day. It’s pretty awful, and can happen on my commute home.

But really, what other joy can I express from my life? That Facebook locked up on me today and I was only seeing a few updates (like one an hour) and it finally asked me for my email address again? That work is becoming work again as everybody came out of the woodwork at once? That I’m still not seeing the value of match.com and eharmony still thinks that San Diego, Vancouver, B.C, and Honolulu, California (!) are within 50 miles of me? That I still think about law school because thinking of the years of commuting hours each day to the grey box in the suburbs is depressing the hell out of me?

Yeah, I got nothing today.

I was discussing my thoughts on people who work in sales. My opinions aren’t entirely positive, but I think they get paid a lot of money because they deserve to be paid a lot of money. If I had to deal with rejection on a daily basis, I’d curl up into the fetal position and not come out of my room until I got good and hungry. Or to go to the bathroom. No point in being uncomfortable.

As an aside, I think I just f*cked up my IRA application. First off, I don’t know my sister’s social security number off the top of my head so I couldn’t add her as my beneficiary so I said I’d DO THAT LATER and they still wanted to know the social security number of NOBODY (since I was doing that LATER) and then when I said I wanted to invest in the stock market they asked me which mutual fund I wanted to put my money into. M*th*rf*ck*ng banks anyway.

Back to my “issues”, I don’t take rejection well. This is a big reason I’m single right now. In fact, today I found out that the woman I dated four whole times last year is living with her new boyfriend and is doing spectacularly, and that I should have put the moves on her in the FOUR dates I had. Also, the one woman I asked out in two years at the gym is no longer even acknowledging my presence and the word “hello” appears to be foreign to her. So this tells me two things. One is that I am a frigid bitch. Two is that I should never ask out anyone who I possibly want to talk to in the future. Does that mean I should ask out women who I don’t want to talk to? Someone I know told me that “beggars can’t be choosers” and I should go out with the women I find unattractive. And just why would I want to do that?

Somehow this dating thing is completely foreign to me and perhaps I should just avoid it. I guess I threw away a bunch of money on match.com, but it wasn’t any more than the m*th*rf*ck*ng bank fees I paid for f*ck*ng up my credit card payment. I really should stop dealing with s*ns of b*tch*s, but that would require keeping my money in my mattress and I’m not really down with that, either. That’s life.

I’m usually not this tired at the gym on Mondays, but I was dragging around today. I guess I didn’t do too much, but there were times during my workout that I just wanted to sit down and rest. I wonder if it’s the weather, since it was 66°F yesterday and only 37°F and windy now. Or maybe it’s hay fever.

In any case, I suppose it doesn’t make any sense to sit here watching videos on YouTube and feeling sad. I’ve had “Give it Away” by Deepest Blue stuck in my head for about a week and it wasn’t the happiest video. This lead me to listen to the Todd Terry remix of “Missing” by Everything but the Girl which is even sadder and then “West End Girls”, “Domino Dancing”, and “Love Comes Quickly” by the Pet Shop Boys. I think most of my favorite dance tunes are in a minor key. Fortunately, George Michael is cheering me right up. No, I’m not stocking my closet with glitter for my coming out party. I think I’ll listen to Swing Out Sister next. “Breakout” always cheers me up.

I should start with my list again. I did start looking through my dad’s boxes again, and that just lead to despair and putting things back in the box. I did find a couple of things that I pulled out, and a few things that I may put on ebay. Trevor thinks I should start a store called, “Buy my dad’s old crap.” If no one buys it, it goes to Goodwill. Sounds like a plan, but it also means I have to do something. I should set up a photo area and start taking pictures of the crap.

Wow, this Match.com stuff confuses me. I was looking at someone who “winked” at me and was busy composing an email, when I got an automated email saying we weren’t a good match. I guess it all works on its own. Just as well and it frees me up to look at Seiko watch sites. There’s a nice new Seiko Spring Drive GMT watch that only costs $4100 list. That’s only sixty bank late fees.