I do know that I need to be more positive about things, but that really isn’t me. So I need to try to be more positive. I’ve always had a dark sense of humor, and most of my writing is fairly dark. And I remember seeing something about some researcher finding how pessimists are much more likely to be correct in predicting the future. Oh, well.

I’d put another graph up, but they’re all the same. 🙂

All the shoveling has left my right hand cramped a bit. The first day I couldn’t even write a sentence. Or perhaps my penmanship is deteriorating because I don’t write much.

The roads were clearing yesterday but the city plows came and created a nice thin sheet of snow that froze up overnight. They probably decided to get most of the snow off the street because school was open today. I went out today and shoveled the ice, so the road would be more passable even for silly cars like mine. Good thing, too, because my Gleevec came in!

I’m going to see if I can get an appointment to see Dr. Brian Druker of Gleevec fame, though my insurance won’t pay for it. Boy, do I need a job. Everyone tells me I need a “second opinion” so I suppose I might as well go to the top of the food chain.

So I have a new geek toy, an iButton that I got to measure the room temperature in the wintertime. It looks like a big button battery, and you can tell it when to start logging temperatures. I think it’s made to stick into packages, to see if the packages get too hot or too cold. Anyway, I never sleep well in the wintertime and I wonder if the temperature is fluctuating because it gets too hot and too cold. I know this is a symptom of leukemia, but I’ve had this problem for a long time.

Well, the temperature isn’t fluctuating, is it?

The night before was about the same.

Well, time for more experiments.

I went out to Hayden Island, on the Columbia River, and it was still quite icy. But things are mostly melting in town. Mostly, but slowly. I had to shovel an area in front of the driveway so we could get back home. We live on a dead end, so we don’t get that much traffic. No real story, since we just went to the store and back, but one of our not-so-bright neighbors (who is a physician, after all) was standing in the middle of the street, staring at us instead of getting out of the way. She finally got the idea. Lots of people are walking in the street instead of on the shoveled sidewalk. I’m not quite sure why.

Oh, and my grandmother passed away yesterday. She was 98 1/2 years old. Sounds like I’m not going to get close to that age.

I’m watching Phantoms, which seems like a bad, bad movie, but in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jay screams out, “Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms, yo!” and so I’m compelled to watch it.

The weather is warming, and now we have foot-deep puddles and slush. I was bored enough to help my neighbor shovel his driveway, and now I’m bored enough to watch Phantoms. The half melted snow/ice mix is fairly slippery and I had to help two neighbors get their cars moving. There’s just no traction in slush, and the snow can build up blocks in front of the tires. Some shoveling and some shoving work to get the cars moving, though.

Unfortunately, I strained some muscles trying to push the first car out. It feels like intracostal muscles, but who knows? I need to talk to a massage therapist or chiropractor to figure it out, I’m sure.

I sure hope things melt enough tomorrow.

It’s warming up and things are melting, but I remember how this usually works in these parts: the temperature will shoot up to about 50°F and we’ll have a nice hard rain. That way things will melt too quickly and we’ll get proper flooding. Right now it’s about 38°F and it’s melting slowly.

I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment today, and I couldn’t get through to cancel it. My doctor actually apologized about the broken phones. He called to tell me I didn’t need to see him until I was on the Gleevec for a week and he heard that I’d been having some delays. The paperwork was finally straightened out and the drugs are on order. It’s in Fred Meyer’s hands now. Yay!

The only scary bit was when I first found out I’ll be taking Gleevec for the rest of my life, or until they stop working. I’m hoping that’s a long time.

Once again the snow has turned into some horrible ice. Freezing rain is miserable.

I heard it was going to thaw today (Wednesday) so I started shoveling. Unfortunately, the weather isn’t following the report. I think I just made things worse by giving the rain a nice clean surface to freeze on. I hope the de-icer I bought a couple years back is doing the trick.

And, if I’m lucky, the snowboarder kids won’t steal the garbage can again.

My insurance has approved my Gleevec! Now I just have to wait for the paperwork to flow through the proper channels and get to my local pharmacy. That could be a few days.

It’s snowing again, and all sorts of people are sledding on the hill. It’s FREEZING and the wind is blowing. Later today, we’re supposed to get freezing rain.

I’m not going outside, and I’ve got an excuse. Yesterday, my lunch burrito decided that it wasn’t food, and it made its way out of my body. Food poisoning is no fun. My guess is that the 22°F outside temperature and the blowing wind brought down the temperature of the warming tables and grew Clostridium perfringens in the beans or the chicken. Just my luck. On the plus side, I got a nice, restful sleep.

I have no idea what sort of symptoms I can attribute to my CML, but every physical problem I’ve had lately is making me jump. I haven’t been sleeping well, CML. I had some heartburn (cheeseburger and fries), CML. My back hurts, CML. My hands are dry, CML.

Of course, most of those things are probably just normal winter problems I’ve had every year, but I don’t know. And not knowing is the worst.

Anyone who has just been diagnosed with CML, I have one suggestion. Don’t start surfing for information right before you go to bed. It doesn’t help.

I’m having trouble sleeping lately (I wake up too much) and I’m sure it’s due to agitation and not knowing what’s next. My best sleep I’ve had since this started was the night after the hematologist confirmed my diagnosis.

Supportive friends (and family) are the best. What really put me at ease was the support of friends who have already survived cancer. It’s good to know that people get through this!

Thanks everyone.

Once again, I spent some time shoveling the snow, but I also had some fun yelling at the kids to get off the front lawn. Frigging kids.

It’s nice that friends keep calling to see if I’m OK, but how am I going to deal with this in my usual way (denial) if I have to keep describing what I’m doing? Heh.

And anyone reading this, we’re keeping this from my dad, who has memory problems anyway. This would all just freak him out, and he’d keep asking me what is happening. I don’t need that sort of trouble right now, and neither does he. Thanks.

It was “fun” going running today. It’s an out-and-back route, 1 1/2 miles on the road, the rest on a gravel road, and it’s uphill most of the first half. Foolishly, I tried to stay on the sidewalk on the way up and found the worst traction was ice on the sidewalk. The roads were mostly clear. Much of the run was on choppy ice, the kind that forms on churned up snow. And now it’s snowing again! What I like most about rain is that you don’t have to shovel it.

And this is my last day of diagnosis ignorance. Tomorrow I find out what the doctor has found out from all the blood draws and the bone marrow biopsy. Maybe my bone marrow is really cotton candy. Who knows?