Fortunately, my laptop was making noise when I took it to the Apple store. They’re ordering the parts and it should be in for repair later this week.

Other than that I have nothing. I’m going to be mooching food off of my sister tomorrow, and maybe I can get my dad to go as well. He doesn’t like venturing out that much. I do have the story from him that I told on my sister’s blog:

when he was in “camp” they liked the fishing hooks that L. L. Bean sold. He ordered a dozen to give to his buddies (since they were in INTERNMENT CAMP and had nothing to do). L. L. Bean screwed up and gave him 12 dozen! He told me he didn’t mind buying things from L. L. Bean because he’s still paying them back.

Which reminds me, I need to order some more shirts.

Today at the gym I decided (while trying to induce lactic acid poisoning) that it’s all about MFL. It’s sort of Dave the Trainer’s term, because he told me he got caught checking out a woman who spends an hour on the treadmill who looks like a librarian. My Favorite Librarian was in today and I’ve been caught checking her out as well. She’s too young for me, of course, and really she doesn’t look quite like any librarian I know, because most of the librarians I know have tattoos and could be baristas in any other town. (OK, so that’s only a few of the librarians I know, really, and most are much more  traditional. I won’t say normal, because tattoos are pretty common here.) We have a very good library system in Multnomah County and I’m sure it attracts its share of talent from the field.

Oh, and I had a rule that I would NOT HELP WITH SUPERBUZZY, but today I gave Timmy at the gym (and his hot trainer) Superbuzzy business cards so they could get whatever odd fabric my sister and her business partner Kelly are selling. So there. NO MORE HELP FOR SUPERBUZZY.

I went to the evil Target today (evil according to Megan, I can’t remember why) and used my rain check for a $150 Trutech LCD TV. I wasn’t about to put up with a fuzzy $550 TV, but I can put up with a lot more for just $150. It’s not completely clear, but it’s fuzzy in a different way. It just looks like a bad TV signal with weird color, and not some weird computer-generated fuzz. It’s just TV, after all, and ONLY $150!

I got another pep talk at work today and was told that constant change is a good thing. Move around and rise to a level of incompetence. I don’t know if I agree this is good.

Get this, I added a guy who worked in a nearby group to some sort of acquaintance link on a website. LinkedIn or something like that. Apparently he doesn’t know me well enough to be a reference and rejected me as an acquaintance. Sheesh. He’s a manager who hires guys who are so abrasive that they were fired from Megacorp in the past, but he can’t say he even knows me on a stinking web site? What do you expect from a guy at Megacorp, I suppose.

I hope I have time in the next couple of days to send my MacBook Pro in for repair. The fan is making hideous noises. At least it’s the fan (I think) and not something else.

I think I better get a new TV before the next big football day. It’s just easier that way.

I missed a couple of games because I didn’t feel like lying around all day (the only way to get a good view of the spare TV). Instead I went to my sister’s to install a new phone jack, and then to another Target to see if they have that cheap TV. Also, my horoscope said I’d be especially attractive today, so I thought I’d try it out on the teenage employees and toothless shoppers at Mall 205. It worked about as well as you’d expect.

Oh, it was a free communications e-Harmony weekend so I thought I’d answer some questions to see how it works. It’s like a huge annoying survey. IN THE PAST WEEK DID YOU SHOP FOR FISH? ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, HOW WOULD YOU RATE THE FISH YOU PURCHASED? WAS THE FISH PURCHASED AT CITGO? Etc. Anyway, I broke e-Harmony. (I wouldn’t bother clicking on the image. It’s big and boring.)

I suppose the only other interesting thing I did was getting a haircut and then trying to figure out the song on the Geico commercial (you know, “Remind Me” by Röyksopp).

Dave the Trainer wondered what the hell I was talking about when I said the leg extension machine hurts my ear. Well, you sit on this seat and move these weights up and down that are next to you, and Dave always seems to set them to something I can barely do. So when I’m finished, I let the stack down fast and it makes a large noise that hurts my ear. Probably not that good for the machine, either.

And why is it that the unhappy girl is never at the gym any more?

Megacorp continues apace and I really need to extricate myself from my current situation. My job description changes daily, and fortunately it is more doable in todays incarnation, but it still isn’t what I signed up to do. It just sounds like they’re getting ready to get rid of us. I better get off my procrastination kick and finish writing a better account of my work history and abilities than I usually express. “Yeah, I did some stuff and then they made me a sysadmin,” probably won’t cut it.

I suppose there are plenty of things that I put off, like my bills and sorting my bills. Oh, and canceling subscriptions so I have to pay for another year of Amazon Prime. Or reading any subscription magazine (subscribing to something means that I’m not going to read it.) Or finishing my résumé.
I did take my TV back today. Now I have no TV near my computer but I have tons of recorded TV shows to catch up on. I’m finally caught up with House and The Unit, but I probably have a full season of Prison Break and Battlestar Galactica to watch. Oh, and I never watched any of The Closer or The Dead Zone this summer. Man, I’m really behind.

Oh, and here’s yet another bit of confusion from Megacorp (sorry the picture’s so fuzzy):

I stayed up way too late watching Batman Returns because I bought a new LCD TV at Costco and wanted to confirm that the picture is too fuzzy to keep. I probably didn’t need to watch the whole movie, but I figured that I better make sure. It’s a $550 TV, after all.

Also, I was joking how they were changing my job every day at Megacorp and today they changed it twice. One of these days I may find out what I’m supposed to be doing.

My sister came home this morning very EARLY, and of course she called me. To be honest, she didn’t call until 8:41, but it’s Sunday morning and I was still asleep. She called to remind me to pick up our mother at the airport. Like I was going to forget.

I was almost late, though. I busted out my brand new ladder and cleaned the gutters. Gutters get filled with the worst sort of muck: leaves, mud, and the grit from roofing shingles. My new shiny ladder is now covered in the stuff. I was hoping I could leave it pristine as a symbol of my commitment. I had to go to a suburban Costco to get it and the parking lot was so full that I parked diagonally across in the farthest corner, and I still had to wait for someone to leave before I could park. I braved all sorts of suburban shopping traffic, almost hitting a car that swerved into the turn lane I was in, and then when I rushed back to the gym I found that Dave the Trainer and I had screwed up our schedules and he was busy with another client.

But in any case, my mom is back, and she’s yelling at my dad now. I don’t have to do it any more.

So if I get a manicure, does that mean I’m an ‘mo? My nails were getting so bad that they were snagging on everything. I went to a local nail store, Nails Atelier and got a fill and a manicure. Not a flawless job, but I just wanted to be able to get dressed without ruining my socks. Or sleep without catching my nails on the blankets. It was pretty good and the most contact with a woman I’ve had in a while. Which is what the woman at work said, that there are guys who get manicures just to get the contact with women. That’s kind of creepy.

A guy in my group at Megacorp told me that we work in a job we don’t like, for a guy we don’t like, on a project we don’t like, and his wife told him that was the time to start looking for a new job. An old group manager heard what we’re doing and called it monkey work. People who don’t know the situation don’t understand this at all.

This situation has also been described as, “Having your boss hand you a bowl of sh*t flavored ice cream.” It’s still a job, we still get paid, but it’s time to look for greener pastures. I was called into a meeting this morning by my manager and my manager’s manager because, apparently, not only am I required to do my job but I’m required to ENJOY it. I have no poker face. They know I don’t like it.

In other words, there’s no way I’m surviving this.

In other news, well, there is no other news. Dave the Trainer screwed up his knee and had to cancel so I thought this was a fine time to sit at home and watch TV on a Thursday night. Also, to eat food from Jack-in-the-Box. We don’t have In-N-Out Burger here.

My ma called from Japan and she said she’s bringing me back candy that is available at the local Asian grocery. Whoop-dee-doo. I told her to come back soon before I have to kill my father.

I found out what I’m doing at Megacorp for the next couple of months. I’m making marketing demos in Windows. Now, I was hired to be a Linux developer which is a lot different than being a Windows demo maker, but that’s just the Megacorp way. Your skills are not used to fit you to the proper job. If you’re standing around with your Masters degree in Computer Science and they need someone to fix the Megacorp van, you better become an auto mechanic real quick. Even if you don’t have a drivers license and only ride bicycles. If I were a spiritual man, I’d say my immortal soul was in danger. As it is I just think my ass hurts.

Every time I call my doctor with minor questions, and I do mean minor, the front desk just schedules an appointment for me. I go in and see my doctor who gives me a funny look like he’s wondering why I bothered to come in. In fact, there have been times where he asked me why I bothered to come in.

So now my nails are starting to crack. Actually, they all look like there was some singular event that caused them to act weird. Perhaps it was the hand-foot-and-mouth disease I had. In any case, here’s a picture. Anyone with any medical background (or  experience something similar) think I should go see the doctor about this?