I’m not really bored, just a geek, so I figured out how much it costs me per session at the gym. It’s $115 for a month and, I think, $15 per class if you pay for it that way. So, I spent a bunch of time in LaTeX composing a table because I’m a geek.

So right now, I think I’ve made it to the gym six times this month, so that means I’m paying $19.17 per session. By the end of this week I should be ahead of the game. I’ll probably never look at this table much, but for some reason I felt compelled to make it. Like I said, I’m a geek.

Now compare this to how much I’m paying at LA Fitness. I paid $719.76 in December and I’ve been there once. That’s $719.76 per visit.

Normally, the hardest math I do at the gym is calculating how much I’m deadlifting. Weights on one side + weights on the other side + the bar. Simple addition, but for some reason I get tired and screw it up. Some time after calculus I stopped being able to do math and had to carry a calculator with me all the time.

Oh and if I were on a diet, it’s gone all pear shaped again. Yesterday I had an Al Pastor burrito at Don Pedro’s with a bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola. Yeah, the stuff with the REAL SUGAR in it. Today, I had a torta from Don Pedro’s with another bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola. I gave up normal Coke a long time ago for Diet Coke and non-Diet tastes way too syrupy to me now. But the stuff with the real sugar is spectacular.

If you don’t know what a torta is, it’s a loose meat sandwich and I think they soak the bun in grease. Whatever it touched, it left a stain, and it was also spectacular. I think cheeseburgers would probably be a step up.

So today when I avoided the gym (because of a stomachache) you would figure I’d just sit around and watch TV. But what I did was FINISH MY MOM’S TAXES. No fun at all. In the middle of it all, I had to go put out the garbage and then go searching for her checkbook. When we had that little break-in last year, I hid all the check books. Hers is the last one I found (and fortunately I found it).

The worst part about putting out the garbage was picking up the trash across the street. Buncha punks parked over there left a bunch of bottles and takeout boxes from Del Taco in Hillsboro. Why do they have to come all the way into town from Hillsboro to dump their trash in front of my house?

Now if only I could get going and finish my own taxes.

I’m on some medication that sometimes gives me sharp stomach pains. I think that’s why I was having troubles today, but I did eat a cheeseburger substitute last night so I wasn’t taking any chances today. In any case, I was in a position where there wasn’t much choice so I ate it and I enjoyed it. Sounds kind of like I’m trying to justify my decisions, but I just gave into temptation.

So today is one of the 3 days a week that I’m not going to the gym. I think I’m supposed to be resting, but what’s the point of that? What I did was help a guy make a wood pile for some slash burning. He’s doing some logging before he builds a new house in the woods. Well, one woodpile was probably 15 feet of branches (not stacked very well) and we spent most of the day playing with fire. Let me tell you, a giant woodpile on fire is VERY HOT even from a distance. Last time I did this I got something that looked like sunburn from the heat.

Well, I better pretend to get some sleep tonight, since it’s not really the time that the clock says. At least it’s light out later so you can spend all day helping a buddy play pretend logger and not have to drive home in the dark.

Now I’m being told not to say bad things about the gym I’m going to because the guy who runs it is reading my blog. OK, then, NATHAN IS A DOODIE HEAD. Actually, he’s a really nice guy and the only problem there is probably me and my big mouth. My sense of humor isn’t any more offensive than what I hear on NPR, but I suppose it would be bad for me to scare off any of his other clients. I suppose NPR is probably plenty offensive to the right-wing.

Now that I have that out of the way I can’t remember what else I was thinking about. My head, after all, is hurting. I wonder if it was today’s new cheeseburger avoidance that did it. First, instead of having this cheeseburger, I had some mediocre Chinese food. And honestly, the restaurant was pretty scary, with boarded up windows and a blackberry filled parking lot with tire-eating potholes.

I went out to dinner with my mom, and this time I avoided the cheeseburger with a garden burger and some semi-inedible potato salad. Someone forgot to cook the potatoes. My mom ordered a SINGLE pancake, and it was big enough for several people.

The gardenburger was much better than I thought it would be. It was actually tasty rather than just rubbery and odd. I may have to eat more of those things.

Well, you could have guessed that I am a moron. I have been reading the Portland Hamburgers blog and even though I’ve already had dinner, I’m really jonesing for a burger. All this work at the gym and I’m really supposed to be eating better but I’m just looking at blogs about cheeseburgers. Yeesh.

Oh, and I’m not going to sleep early enough, either. I forgot about some work I had to do and so I was doing WORK instead of sleeping. What a maroon.

I wanted to get to sleep early yesterday. Springtime is taking its usual toll and I’m sleepy all day long. It’ll be worse when hay fever season hits for me. In any case, it’s not always my fault that I don’t get to sleep on time. Just most of the time. Yesterday I was catching up on watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I didn’t realize it was a two hour season finale, so I missed the first hour. That meant I had to go back and watch both.

Today I had to listen to my friend complain about how his Mac doesn’t print correctly. He has some jacked up network with Linux hippie servers all over and he couldn’t print. I think he just wanted to whine about it to someone. Once again I’m up later than I wanted to be.

Fortunately, bananas aren’t on my list. Onions and apples, I think are on my list. My stomach felt fine today, but not perfect. For some reason yesterday’s stomachache gave me the same crawling sensation in my stomach that I have when I’m nervous. So when I was at the gym today, getting ready to do the “thruster” (also known as the squat-to-press), I felt apprehensive. It uses a lot of my core muscles, which need a lot of work anyway. We also did some rowing, which also got my core muscles complaining.

I’ve been trying to eat better, but eating in the Megacorp cafeteria isn’t doing me any favors. Today my lunch just made me sad. It was an Asianish dish with noodles, rice, chicken, and vegetables. The vegetables were celery and broccoli that looked like they taken from the garbage. The noodles were overcooked and black. The rice, for once, was OK. The chicken was just swimming in hoisin sauce.

The last time I was at the grocery store with my sister, the woman behind us in line was buying a bunch of things including Trojans and Fred Meyer brand hoisin sauce. I never thought I’d be all that judgemental in the grocery line but seriously, Fred Meyer brand hoisin sauce?

P.S. I’m done for.

I actually had to go home early yesterday because of a stomachache (and associated troubles). I only went home a couple of hours early, but I still feel kind of lame because I know people who are in the hospital right now with their medical problems.

Mine are probably self-induced anyway. I’m guessing I’m eating too many raw vegetables, particularly onions, and my body isn’t used to it. It’s either that or just eating at the cafeteria at work.

The good news is that we’re not headed into a recession. The bad news is that Enzyte was a scam!

OK, so in reality I may doubt the veracity of the first statement as well.

Now that I read more about exercise “stuff” I find that I really should modify my diet, something that I’ve been too lazy to do. I just got a handout on the “Zone Diet” which sounds a little sketchy when I read up on it. Oh, well. I’m sure no sane diet has all the cheeseburgers I want to eat.

I had a very soap-opera-y dream about an old girlfriend who I haven’t seen in 10 years. She was kind of freaking out because she was pregnant and she had to tell the father and her boyfriend who was out of the country. This kind of shocked me because she wasn’t the type to get into that kind of situation. Oddly enough, I think she kind of looked like Mayim Bialik who just happened to be on TMZ’s web site today.

We had a “team building exercise” today where we went bowling. I think the last time I went bowling was about 20 years ago. I started off bad but got better with practice, unlike before when I’d start off bad and get worse as I kept bowling. My best game was 160 or something. I’ll take that.

One of the main things they about losing weight is that you have to get enough sleep. But unfortunately, I have an addiction to gossip web sites and I always forget to look at them until I’m about to go to sleep. And, come to think of it, I should be asleep now.

I’m also addicted to reading all the Crossfit directions for the exercises they teach. It’s sort of like watching golf instead of playing, but what can you do?

Oh, and my Buttberry is REALLY proving to me how little real email I get and how few phone calls I make on my cell phone. Ah, well.

I have a medical question that most people won’t even want to think about: how long does it take asparagus take to show up in your pee? In biochem, we learned that they first thought that some people were genetically different and processed asparagus to make their pee smell funny. Well, it turns out EVERYONE’s pee smells funny after eating asparagus and some people are genetically different in their NOSES and can smell it.

In any case, after I started taking some expensive medication I thought, “Oh crap, I’m dying, my pee smells TERRIBLE.” Turns out I forgot what I had just eaten (asparagus, of course.)

Enough about that.

Turns out that my car is #3 on the list of greenest cars! Not that it really matters, but HOORAY!