I was DFL today during the workout at the gym. I was almost four minutes behind the fastest person, but I also was using a dball that was 4 pounds heavier and a kettlebell that was 20 pounds heavier. Cumulatively, that’s 30+24+20+16+12+8+4+2=116 times that, or 464 more pounds in ball slams and 2320 pound more in snatches. I suppose I do have about half a foot on her, but she’s a competitor in the Crossfit games and I’m just a computer guy. A computer guy who is seriously doubting the math of that, and really I only did 19.05 lbs more on the kettlebell, so cumulatively that’s only 2210 lbs. I think there were 12 people in our class, mostly women, and so I can safely say that I lifted more weight than the total weight of our whole class, unless we weighed an average of 184 lbs. I don’t think anyone in the class weighed that much alone.

Multiplying the weight by the time (3:49) would give us a value of 8343.8, which is a large number with no significance at all, but apparently there is a dude at the gym who eats about that many calories in a day. He’s a big skinny dude and my current hero. I even heard he sat down and ate two pies at once. I don’t know how to compare that to Sean’s achievement of losing the burrito eating contest (he had a bit left of #3 before he was disqualified) but everyone else in that contest held their stomachs in pain afterwards while Sean went out for ice cream.

So if I do some division, I did 729 lbs/minute more than the fastest person. Another meaningless measure, but I can live with that. Maybe I’ll do what Sean said, “With abs like that, I’d just take my shirt off and eat chocolate cake all day.” I know, I’ve mentioned it before, but a man can dream, can’t he?