I don’t like making too many decisions about a restaurant on their first week being open, and today’s experience at Foster Burger kind of is an example of that. Four of us went there after going to the gym as part of our burger club.

When we got there at 8:15-ish, the place was full but not crowded. There were open seats at the bar and at a two-top, I think, but there were four of us and we were on “a list” to be seated at a table. We all had some beers at the bar. I was watching a booth open up when a couple walked in and took it. I don’t know why they bothered to tell us that there was a list if it was just first-come-first-served. We would have been more vigilant if we would have known. They didn’t move the couple, they just made us wait longer.

We finally got a seat in a dark corner. I’m almost twice the age of two of the others I went with, and I was having a hard time reading the menu. Well, it turns out the 25-year-old guy was having a hard time as well. The table was also by the door, which had a big sign saying, “MAKE SURE YOU CLOSE THE DOOR BECAUSE IT GETS COLD INSIDE,” but I had to keep getting up to close it because hipsters can’t read. I was actually very angry with the staff and the couple who took our table, to the point where I was considering doing something to get me 86’ed from the restaurant for good.

They finally came to take our order much later than the couple who stole our booth, and we were told that they just sold out of the black and white fries, which was first on our list. I think the couple got the last order. We put in our order for burgers and waited. And waited. And then we noticed people were being turned away. And then we were told they RAN OUT OF BUNS and we were out of luck. Just as we were going to pay for our drinks and leave (the bartender was nice and it wasn’t her fault we were getting the royal shaft from Foster Assburger), they told us our order was actually IN THE QUEUE, and we weren’t among the bunless. Another minute and we would have been gone. We stayed and waited. And waited. And we finally got our burgers.

The burger was good, but as the foodie blogs say, it’s a great pub burger but not on the gourmet scale. In fact, among the pub burgers, I’d recommend Hopworks first and Slow Bar second and Foster Burger next. They all have their issues (Hopworks is too crowded, Slow Bar treats you like you are at a McMenamins – i.e. like dirt) and you have to consider that when you’re going out to eat. But just on quality I’d say this was really good but I can find better for the same price. And really, unless you’re a hipster doofus or you just happen to live there, why go to SE Portland?

So, really, unless you’re a masochist or overly adventurous or really lucky, avoid Foster Burger for a couple more weeks.