And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper.

Wood chippers are dangerous, and every time I’ve used one I’ve been a little tired. It’s usually on the end of a day of hacking away at my father’s prized trees and rhododendron when I’m in a rush to get rid of all the evidence. And today was Memorial Day, traditionally the first day I notice that the yard is overgrown from all the spring rains.

Anyway, I borrowed a wood chipper from my mom’s crazy mechanic friend and he said it was full of gas. It wasn’t, and of course it ran out while I was stuffing it full of branches. It got so jammed up that I had to take it apart so I could get it restarted. Later I was trying to unjam it again and the piece of wood I was using as a prod kicked back and smacked my right palm. Now my palm is swollen and I’m having a hard time gripping things.

That’s not as bad as yesterday, when I found grey hairs in places that I shouldn’t. Enough about that. At least I convinced my cell phone that it’s a Cingular phone so I can use some more of the Cingular features on it.