{"id":883,"date":"2006-05-29T23:32:08","date_gmt":"2006-05-30T06:32:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/?p=883"},"modified":"2006-05-29T23:32:09","modified_gmt":"2006-05-30T06:32:09","slug":"and-i-guess-that-was-your-accomplice-in-the-wood-chipper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/?p=883","title":{"rendered":"And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Wood chippers are dangerous, and every time I&#8217;ve used one I&#8217;ve been a little tired. It&#8217;s usually on the end of a day of hacking away at my father&#8217;s prized trees and rhododendron when I&#8217;m in a rush to get rid of all the evidence. And today was Memorial Day, traditionally the first day I notice that the yard is overgrown from all the spring rains.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I borrowed a wood chipper from my mom&#8217;s crazy mechanic friend and he said it was full of gas. It wasn&#8217;t, and of course it ran out while I was stuffing it full of branches. It got so jammed up that I had to take it apart so I could get it restarted. Later I was trying to unjam it again and the piece of wood I was using as a prod kicked back and smacked my right palm. Now my palm is swollen and I&#8217;m having a hard time gripping things.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not as bad as yesterday, when I found grey hairs in places that I shouldn&#8217;t. Enough about that. At least I convinced my cell phone that it&#8217;s a Cingular phone so I can use some more of the Cingular features on it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wood chippers are dangerous, and every time I&#8217;ve used one I&#8217;ve been a little tired. It&#8217;s usually on the end of a day of hacking away at my father&#8217;s prized trees and rhododendron when I&#8217;m in a rush to get rid of all the evidence. And today was Memorial Day, traditionally the first day I notice that the yard is overgrown from all the spring rains. Anyway, I borrowed a wood chipper from my mom&#8217;s crazy mechanic friend and he said it was full of gas. It wasn&#8217;t, and of course it ran out while I was stuffing it full of branches. It got so jammed up that I had &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/?p=883\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper.<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/883\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.i8u.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}