So Joe Fury at the gym, who is older and wiser than me, told me that you’re supposed to tell yourself things during the workout to keep yourself going. For example, during a 1000M row, you’re supposed to tell yourself, “The discomfort is only now. It’s temporary. Keep going.”

I’m not sure what I’m thinking, but usually it’s more like, “I’m too old for this crap. Why am I working this hard? No one is paying me to do this. In fact, this has no bearing on my job, which is what I should be doing right now instead of fooling around in the gym. Oh, hey, I can catch up to that person next to me. Maybe I should try that.”

So we’re not supposed to pay attention to anything other than our own efforts, but I contend that you have to balance that with whatever motivates you, and if your motivation is competition, you have to go with it.

I was asked today why I was such a hater. I think I had some issue with a couple of groups of people. I guess the problem with both groups is that they seem very insular and don’t feel all that friendly. I talk to just about everyone I meet, and a lot of my opinions are based on just the small cross section of those people. But really, I feel like thinking about why I don’t seem to like firemen, when everyone else seems to love them.

I don’t like firemen because the ones I’ve met are rather humorless and macho. Macho I can deal with, but humorless I have a big problem with, especially with people who take themselves too seriously. And a lot of the firemen I’ve met (a small percentage of all the firemen on the planet, mind you) don’t really give a crap about anyone who isn’t either on fire or is a fireman themselves. A couple of my friends worked for the fire department as maintenance staff. One was an electrician and the other was a radio technician, and they were often treated like servants. Not by all the firemen, but by enough that I got the feeling that I shouldn’t bother being friendly because there was a certain club I’d never be able to join and I might as well remember that I wasn’t welcome.

Growing up non-white in Portland, where most everyone is white, there are lots of places where I didn’t feel welcome, and some times where people would want to hurt me when I was minding my own business. I guess that’s why I feel so strongly about “clubs” I can’t join.

Also, it doesn’t really matter, because I doubt any firemen give a crap about one guy who doesn’t like them. It’s not like I go out of my way to impede them or be rude to them. I just don’t feel any reason to join their cheerleading squad.