It’s my buddy Greg’s wife’s birthday today. I tried to get him to buy her something, but he’s too stubborn. Heck, I warned her about this before they got married years ago. We ended up fixing another friend’s bulldozer and then hanging out.

But I guess I should try to be more of a “man’s man” about this. At the suggestion of a woman from work, I bought “The Complete A**hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks.” After reading a few chapters, I realize what I should have bought instead, “A Pathetic Loser’s Guide to Never Believing Amazon Ratings and Not Buying Really Bad Books that Prey on his Loneliness.” Hahaha.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it, paying for two torture sessions a week. I enjoy it for a few reasons. I actually look forward to going to the gym because my life is rather dull (and the women are better looking than at work.) I feel better after working out (probably from a lack of oxygen to my brain). And I can tell when I’m doing something because I’m sore the next day.

There was something else I was going to mention but I can’t remember what it was. One of the cuter women at the gym had this odd tattoo on her shoulder. One of the trainers asked her about it so I figured it was fair for me to ask what it was. Turns out it was just a ballpoint pen drawing of her husband’s name. I personally thought it was the outline of a marshmallow Peep. (Yeah, you see, that’s my excitement for the day. Looking at a fake ballpoint pen tattoo of a dude’s name that I thought was weird Easter candy.)