My dad fell down the stairs today. I wasn’t as worried about the fall or the bloody scalp laceration as I was about the disorientation he’s had since yesterday. After the fall he just kept saying, “I just want to sleep,” and curled up on the living room floor.

I called the advice nurse and she just told me to call 911. The EMTs in the ambulance suggested we go to the trauma center, just in case, and after we got there, they raised him to a Level 1 Trauma. I went outside to call my mom and my sister and by the time I got back I was told my dad had been intubated and had been given CPR.

Apparently my dad had an aortic dissection. They called in the heart surgeon from home but he wasn’t too optimistic about operating on an almost 91-year-old man. We all decided that surgery would just be torturing an old man. My dad passed away around 5:07PM, but the voodoo ritual performed by the doctor didn’t end until 5:19PM, so that’s his official time of death. 5:19PM, April 15, tax day.

My mom and sister and I were always afraid that he’d have a hard death, and I’m glad it was fairly quick and painless. If you’ve seen a picture of the nest he has for a desk, you’ll understand another fear of mine that they’d have to shovel out all his crap to get him out of his bed. Fortunately, it was much easier than all that. The biggest surprise is that they didn’t even ask for a signature after his death; they just wanted a phone number and the funeral home we wanted to use.

I’m off to be a pallbearer for my friend’s mom tomorrow and I just heard from another friend that his girlfriend just dumped him. This is not an auspicious start to the week.

Friday the 13th didn’t start out that well. I was tired from the ONE BEER I didn’t get for free. When I checked my email I found out that my friend’s mom had died and that kind of put things into perspective. On the way to work I was trying to pass a bicycle where he had a full lane and I had a full lane, but he decided to take the left lane and I was passing him on the right. At the last minute he swerved towards me and then started yelling at me that I was a car and I better watch out. I tried to tell him to be more careful, because, hey, who’s going to get hurt? But whatever. He kept glaring at me at the stoplights.

Later in the evening I went out with friends, including one who is kind of annoying. I had to leave the bar because the music was too loud and my ears were bothering me. We all wanted to go home but the annoying guy made us go to the grocery store for some reason before he’d take us to Jack-in-the-Box, and he wouldn’t let us eat in his used car because he wanted it clean. Keep in mind that he has two kids, a baby and a 3-year-old.

So today I felt like dogmeat, and all I had last night was two drinks. I took a nap and woke up with a headache, but felt well enough to head out to my ex-girlfriend’s birthday party. It didn’t bother me that she had another 10-year-her-junior boyfriend who looked just like the shaved-headed heavy-metal-band loser that she went out with right after me, and it didn’t really bother me that it was all his youthful friends showing up to make me feel old, and it didn’t bother me that we were in a dank and smoky bar and I was trying to hack up a lung. It did start to bother me when her friends, who appeared to be her age, showed up with their much younger boy-toys.

Fortunately, the one shot of Laphroaig I had was working it’s usual magic and I didn’t feel too bad after I drank it. I left at 9:30, telling everyone I had to dress up like Harry Potter and surf the internet. Hah. Like I’d dress up like Harry Potter.

Happy Birthday to me. I went to work and attended a meeting on, “What we should be doing in our group,” which so incensed my co-worker that he told a complete stranger how useless we all were. Nothing new there, just more confirmation that I’m not the only one who is frustrated and wanting to leave the group if not Megacorp in general.

I was told to go to the Rogue Brewery on my birthday and score lots of swag. A yard of beer, a glass, and a t-shirt. What I got is bupkis. I got to drive around for five minutes and park eight blocks away for my trouble and sit in a smoke-filled bar. Well, Dave the Trainer and I did get to eat Kobe beef hamburgers and the beer was good and he bought my birthday dinner. But the initial disappointment was hard to overcome. I was looking forward to my swag for several weeks.

My sister came through with a weird mini-speaker for my iPod that isn’t very loud, and a mini-carrot-cake! She didn’t even steal a slice before delivery.

I also found out that I should probably avoid drinking for a while. I’m generally a happy drunk but all I could think of is how much I hated my current job. I even called my sister to complain (about the job and the lack of birthday swag). So, even though I’m supposed to go on a pub crawl tomorrow and to a bar on Saturday for my ex-girlfriend’s birthday, I may not be drinking at all. Well, nothing alcoholic anyway. I may reconsider tomorrow.

So tomorrow (April 12) is my birthday. Since my sister is too “busy” to come over, I got my present on Sunday. It was in a paper bag and I was told I’d think it was lame. I still haven’t opened up the bag. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m too busy or because I’m too lazy. Just like usual, I’ve been trying to get my computer to do something it doesn’t want to do.

I’ve bought a couple of THINGS lately that I’d rather not discuss (think BATF but not alcohol or tobacco) lately so I don’t think I’m going to buy myself any birthday presents. I was going to buy another computer, but I think I’m going to wait a bit. My job situation may be a bit more fluid, if you know what I mean.

This is the time of year where I think, damn, when was my friend Sun’s birthday? I’m a dude, and I have a hard time remembering birthdays. I can remember my dad’s because he’s a big drama queen, but I used to have trouble with my mom’s. It’s been years since I forgot what the date was, but I rarely know what today’s date is. I’m lucky to have a friend whose birthday is on the same date as my mom’s, and luckier that he’s on Friendster. Friendster emails me and then I know it’s time to wish her a Happy Birthday. Easy, see?

So today I had two official meetings where I was repeatedly asked, “Do you know what you’re doing?” Really, the answer is no, my current job has nothing to do with my skill set. I was also taken aside by a co-worker who strongly suggested that I take care of the guy I told off before he took care of me. This was an hour-long diatribe, and at the end of it I started looking for a job outside of Megacorp. I don’t play those kind of games.

Oh, and I rushed to the gym only to find out that I was an hour early (Dave the trainer’s magic schedule change again). Dave the Trainer also wanted to grab a bite to eat afterwards but was busy chatting up someone who theoretically found him attractive because they’re both Jewish. I told him the only way he could be more attractive is if he was a doctor. Apparently it’s the last day of Passover and time to eat a hamburger (or bacon cheeseburger if you’re truly a bad Jew.) I really am a bigot.

So I got my yearly review last Friday and there were good parts and bad parts. I got the lowest raise of anyone in my group, but the largest raise of most of my friends. I was told that my old group didn’t like me, but they were doing me a favor. Whatever. I still hate my job, but I make a little more money. I think my paychecks will be in the tens of dollars bigger.

So yesterday I heard my neighbor yelling at his kids. I couldn’t tell what he was saying and I know he’s not the kind of guy to be yelling at a 2-year-old girl. Certainly not for a couple of minutes. I finally figured it out when I heard him yelling, “RED LIGHT!” “GREEN LIGHT!” I guess he was just trying to explain the rules of the game. Heh.

I was so depressed about being stuck in my job that I just kind of sat in the cafeteria for hours. It was also the nicest day this year and I wasn’t the only one slacking. I had friends leave several times to play golf and the parking lot was much more empty this morning than usual.

Fortunately, I don’t let the place bother me too much after I leave. I really ought to do something to improve my job skills but I’m too busy trying to figure out how to read the ID badge I got at a conference. I think it’s going to give me a random 16-digit number and that’s not exciting at all to most people, but I’m still trying to do it. Beats worrying about other things and I can’t spend all my time at the gym.

Sometimes I think it’s just me that hates the changes in my group at work but today three people left to join other groups within Megacorp. There’s a huge attrition rate in the group. The worst part is the guy who couldn’t do the freshman programming is leaving for a FreeBSD OS job. I’m the BSD guy, not him. Why didn’t I see this job? Why have I interviewed for jobs and gotten nowhere? I just suck.

In other news, I saw how non-mainstream I am when I was at the gym staring at all the, “No classes this Sunday,” signs, wondering why classes were cancelled. Then I realized, duh, it’s Easter Sunday. Maybe I ought to buy a calendar.

I’m sure most people want to exercise and go, but they have to listen to me go on and on. In fact, one of the women called me a f**ktard. Well, actually, she was just guessing what my sister calls me, but you get the idea. She also suggested that I write a book called, “Get a Backbone, Geek!”

I’m kind of wondering what sort of job I should have where I can yell at people once in a while. My buddy Craig, who works at a pub, said he told his boss to f**k off at least once a day. Of course, his boss quit and went on to become a brewer. Maybe that’s the sort of environment I need to be in. I could do without all the cigarette smoke, though.

I suppose having a stomach ache in the middle of the night didn’t help. I also hate my job (and my management chains’ indecision) so much that my fuse is getting a little too short. A guy I have no respect for said something fairly innocuous, and I snapped. It went something like:

Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

F*** you.

I need to be a lot more civil, but how can you be someone you’re not? My sister is no help. She just yells at me and tells me to grow up. I think I just need to leave my awful job. I wonder if there’s a job where I don’t have to deal with stupid people and get health benefits. I know that’s very unlikely, but without hope I’d just give up and live in a box for the rest of my two or three years (where I’d be without the health insurance).

My friend Fred just bought 22 acres and is going to build a house out in the weeds. It’s only a few miles from my buddy Greg’s but I consider him to be out in the weeds as well. We thought no one would mess with Fred’s construction project, but someone already started screwing with his well. So we went up and helped him put up some posts for a fence today.

I’m not sure how that took so much time, because the power auger made things go a lot quicker than the usual manual posthole digger, but it took some time. This time of the year I’m always wondering why I’m so tired, and I think it’s all the plants and their pollen. It’s also the perfect nap weather. I suppose it’s always the perfect weather for naps.