It doesn’t work out for me.

Well, I knew the way to stop feeling so stupid about having a crush on someone was to actually ask, politely, if the feeling was even close to being mutual. And the answer of course was no. But I understand this process and while I’ll feel like someone punched me in the guts for a couple of days, I’ll also have several benefits. One is I’m sure this will all go away quicker. Second is, I have little interest in food and I’m losing some weight even more than just by working out.

I’m getting too old for Crossfit. I know there are superb physical specimens even older than I that successfully participating but for me it’s just a way to get hurt more often. I’ve known I should try yoga instead but it’s taken five or more years to finally try it. There’s a Core Power in my neighborhood and I finally am doing the “free week”. I’ve discussed this at length with my neighbor and I’m probably not getting the whole spiritual benefit, but I’m doing it for the exercise. My guess is that some combination of Crossfit and yoga might actually be what I need to do and that expensive gym membership to the Multnomah Athletic Club is going to just be one of the multiple gym memberships I’m going to have.

What do I care? What am I going to spend my money on? I just confirmed my philosophy on dating: It doesn’t work out for Todd. (Or Hisashi, same thing.) I was discussing this with my neighbor. As I was growing up I found very few women who wanted to go out with Asian men. I know it’s changing, but just for younger guys. And when I went to Japan, I found out that Japanese women wanted to go out with Japanese men (not Japanese-American men) or really foreign men (not Japanese-American men). There could be someone out there for me, but so far I’ve found very little to prove me wrong. So gym membership, gym membership, THREE gym memberships.

And, unfortunately, I am feeling better so I’m afraid my appetite is going to come back.