I have no (Facebook) friends.

So things are going as swimmingly as ever. On one weekend I got really dumped instead of sorta dumped. Went from “not feeling it”, to actually “friends” (which turned out to mean “placeholder until I find a guy”), to “I found a guy and now I’m ignoring you outright” on the same weekend that my credit card was used to buy gas in Georgia, not by me, and I don’t know what all else is going wrong in my life other than people are actually stabbing me in the back at work.

I also felt the level of disregard at the gym I’ve been going to for 4-5 times a week for at least five years ratcheted up when they didn’t have the common courtesy to tell me when a guy I can’t stand was taking the place over for the afternoon and I’m the guy who does a lot of the cleaning and maintenance. When someone told me, “It’s not your problem,” I decided they were right, it wasn’t, and I quit.

That led to deleting all my Facebook gym friends, which led to deleting additional people who wouldn’t piss on my ass if it was on fire, which led to deleting more people who I haven’t talked to (or seen updates from) in years, which led to deleting people I only followed because I was too lazy to ask them what they were doing via less impersonal avenues, which led to my ONLY HAVING FIVE ACTUAL FRIENDS (and honestly a couple were spouses of friends) and I figured that was too few and I deleted them as well. Turns out you can’t have zero friends because they count you as your own friend.

So there you have it. If you wondered why I deleted you, I deleted everyone. If you’re not wondering you’re either in the class of people who don’t give a sh*t about me or the two friends of mine who have passed away since I “friended” you on Facebook, and I doubt you’re reading my blog.

In case you’re not keeping track, I’m not having a bad year but I’m certainly not having a good year.

3 thoughts on “I have no (Facebook) friends.”

  1. I’ll miss wishing you happy birthday from the opposite coast on fb. 🙁 Why not just delete your fb account & give it some time? Seems everyone I know (myself included) is having a crappy year.

  2. Yup, that is pretty craptastic. There is nothing wrong with stepping away from the Facebooks to decide what you want to do with it and if you even want to bother anymore.

    I’m having a similarly fabulous month with a work group throwing me under the bus behind my back too, even though, in person, they acted like everything was wonderful. How can you give me one of those stupid recognition awards one week and then start telling people I provided no value the next?

    Oh, and I had a winner of an online dating site “like” from a guy (in his mid-60s) who couldn’t be bothered to put on a shirt in his profile picture (and he hasn’t been working out for the last 20 years) and proceeded to tell me that he needs someone that can turn him on in and instant and then had specific breast size qualifications. Winner winner chicken dinner. I cancelled my membership once and for all.

    Becoming a hermit is getting more and more appealing. Call me when all the WTF moments go away.

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