Some people have such easy lives that they think a hamburger is going to make me suicidal. I guess they could be right, if they thought that my lack of aggressiveness in looking for female companionship is going to keep me from passing on my genetic legacy and that could be thought of as suicidal. Or if my lack of belief in their god will exclude me from their afterlife, so then I’ll be dead, dead, dead when I die and that can be thought of as suicidal. But in either case, I DIDN’T COME TO MY EXISTENTIAL DECISIONS BECAUSE OF A MOTHERFUCKING HAMBURGER.
OK, to be fair, I should have said BACON CHEESEBURGER, because in my life there is a serious difference between the two, but you get my idea.
I’m thinking some people have no idea how to spot the suicidal. The most depressed I’ve ever felt was when they were jerking me around between various anti-depressants which I probably didn’t need in the first place. You start up with some of those and you can feel incredibly despondent and I don’t ever want to feel like that again. But when I was feeling that way (and this was nine years ago?) I didn’t behave like I did the other night. I wasn’t blogging or complaining. I was calling the doctor’s office asking why I was feeling so horrible and if the goddamn medication was at fault. They said probably, and they gave me the number for the suicide prevention hotline. A fat lot of good they were.
Ah, well. I told my sister this and she laughed. She said, “You write that crap to be funny, and if they don’t like it they don’t have to read it.” Which is exactly what I’ve said on numerous occasions. Then we talked about external CD drives for her netbook or something. I’m only useful when I’m being a geek.
OK, so I did get a WiMax modem lately, and I can download things incredibly quickly now. I have a DSL connection so I can run some servers, but that’s reliable but slow. So I got this WiMax because, well, I have money to spend on silly things like this. Well, I downloaded all I wanted, and now it’s kind of just sitting around eating up juice. Ah, well, maybe I can stream Netflix with it or something.