First off, let me steal my review of the burger from Laurelhurst Market from my blog posting at Portland Burgers.

My sister built this burger up, but I’m not quite sure it’s better than the one at the Slow Bar, or as good as our gold standard at Lovely Hula Hands. Laurelhurst Market is a meat market during the day and that isn’t to say that you’re going to find a bunch of people looking to hook up, unless of course they’re looking to hook up with a brisket. The meat was great, though I still think someone from the anti-salt council has gotten to yet another chef. There’s only one burger on the menu, a bacon cheeseburger with, “fries, pimento cheese, and homemade everything.” I have to say it was delicious. The bun was buttery, the bacon was the smokiest perfection I can remember, the pickles were sweet and crisp, and the pimento cheese was, well, pimento cheese. And therein lies my biggest problem with this burger. Who in the hell told them it was OK to take the standard cheddar and replace it with PIMENTO FREAKING CHEESE? I think they took a winning hamburger and made it into a hamburger for the odd foodie. I say odd foodie because of the PIMENTO FRIGGING CHEESE. My dear god, I’m an Asian guy and you’re going to have to introduce me to the ethnic group that has the official line on PIMENTO because as far as I know it’s some whiskey-tango concoction that gets foisted off on you at cheesy cocktail parties.

But I digress. The fries were crispy and wonderful. Do not miss the dessert. My blackberry and peach crisp came with basil ice cream, which was a bit different but tasty, and the one bite of the cheesecake and blueberries I had made question my judgement. That homemade cheesecake was awesome.

So there you have it. A burger that may be the best if I can get over the pimento cheese, made by the chef who came from Lovely Hula Hands. We’re going to have to go back to Lovely Hula Hands to make sure that the change in chefs didn’t take the best burger in town down a notch.

So today I went to see the doctor about my recent stomach aches that we both decided weren’t anything to worry about yet, and he gave me one of most guys’ least favorite examinations. But while I wouldn’t go out of my way looking for that sort of thing, I didn’t find it nearly as unpleasant as having someone scrape at my gumline with a sharpened metal hook.

In any case, he (or the medical assistant, really) gave me some news that had me SHOCKED AND DISMAYED until I got home. I absolultely refuse to be any less than 5’9″ (69″ or 175.26cm). In fact, I’m usually an inch taller first thing in the morning. I took my shoes off and used their measuring gadget and I was only 5’8.5″! I checked when I got home with a tape measure and I was 5’9″ again. I think maybe they have it adjusted for people with 1/2″ shoes on. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Maybe I need to get some gravity boots and stop lifting heavy weights. That might work. That and getting a nice Kim Jong Il hairstyle.