I’m about the worst stalker ever, because I’m too lazy to leave my house to actually see what other people are doing outside. I mean, I’m willing to type in someone’s name to google to see what they’re doing (or my own for that matter) but I’m not willing to actually do move myself further than from the keyboard to the mouse to do it. I mean, really, have you looked yourself up on google? I sure hope you’re more interesting than I am. Geez. Talk about hideously dull.
In any case, I’ve actually been trying to find a picture of my college girlfriend, to see what she looks like now. Quite voyeuristic of me, really, but she’s a lawyer and quite well connected in her neck of the woods, being the Chief of External Affairs for the Santa Clara Valley Transportation Authority and Director of Government Relations and Planning for Santa Clara County’s Department of Family and Childrenâ€™s Services so you’d figure there’d be a picture of her on google somewhere. It took me a long time to find one, and I only succeeded because her husband, 17 years her senior, just retired as the County Manager of San Mateo County. Googling him got me not only her picture, but also that the guy pulled down $500,000/year plus overtime as County Manager and that he was caught in a prostitution sting in 1993 but the evidence mysteriously disappeared. In any case, if you look him up, you can find a picture of her. All that work and all I can say is, “Meh.”
Maybe I should try finding pictures of my Japanese ex-fiancée. I’m sure that would require even more work and the result would be another picture I look at a couple of times so I can say, “Meh,” or whatever meh is in Japanese. Probably, “Ah so.” It’s probably just easier to stay friends with my old girlfriends so I can read their twitter feeds instead of going to all this trouble.
Really, if you’ve been following any of this you’d realize not only am I the world’s worst/laziest/most ineffective stalker, I’m probably the most boring as well. In fact, I could probably post YouTube videos of myself playing Solitaire on the computer and that would be more exciting than what I do on a day-to-day basis. That’s life.