I need to simplify my life.

I need to simplify my life and by life I really just mean my banking. I have a stack of credit cards (most of which sit idle most of the time) and several bank accounts. Paying the cards sometimes means I have to shuffle the money around the accounts in some sort of weird ritualistic manner at some late hour where I’m not completely paying attention to what I’m doing and that means I have enough money SOMEWHERE but the account doesn’t get paid because of delays or mistakes on my part. I love banking penalties, so I get to pay hundreds of dollars (or at least one hundreds of dollars) for each mistake. M*th*rf*ck*rs.

I see a mistake I made so I contacted the bank and the credit card, and I was told I CAN’T DO ANYTHING YET because NOTHING IS WRONG YET. So I’m waiting for a large, painful series of alarms to go off sometime tomorrow.

I really hate banks. Maybe I can get my employer to pay me in small denomination bills and put them under my matrress.

Woe is me (or at least my bank account).

I just got my most recent VISA bill and it was much more horrific than I was expecting. Perhaps “horrific” isn’t the proper word, but it pointed out that I had a month of utter gluttony behind me. And my FABULOUS new laptop isn’t even on it (nor is my hotel room). I have a feeling that I’m going to be seeing more horrific VISA bills in the future.

My AT&T contract is up again, and that means I got to unlock my iPhone 4. So now I have an unlocked iPhone 4 and an unlocked iPhone 4S so maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to have cheaper cell phone service in Japan. I suppose i’ll just have to try to find out when I get there.

Along with my utter gluttony, I’ve been neglecting my blog. The database backing the blog, in fact, has been horned for a while (I can’t tell how long) and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME. In fact, my sister’s blog was probably also down and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME. Come on now, there are at least dozens of people reading her nonsense and probably three to six reading mine. At least one of those people has my email address and several probably have my cell phone number.

I suppose a nice blank web page was somehow more comforting than knowing what I was really up to, which was not feeling all that well last week. Well I’m back, beaches, and me and my nonsense are about to get, well, middle-aged and GERD-tastic on someone’s ass? Ebay did tell me last week that I’ve been a member for 11 years. Maybe I should bid on some Prilosec.

This is where I talk about going to sleep on time and how I’m going to fail at that again. At least some things don’t change.

So many ways to waste all my time.

I wish I could say I had nothing interesting going on, but I spent last week in beautiful San Francisco at Apple’s Worldwide Developers Conference, filling my head full of things that have nothing to do with my job. Included in that was seeing my friend Megan before she left for LA and eating and drinking way more than I should have. I mean, seriously, look at what I ate the first day with Megan and Nadeem. (Yes, lunch was Umami Burger).

Oh, and click at the images at your own peril, I didn’t bother to shrink them.

Umami Burger!
Megan's Quail
Nadeem's Halibut
My salmon

Of course I got up early for the keynote, even though I was booked in the WORLD’S LOUDEST HOTEL (and forgot I had earplugs until Friday night) which meant I kept waking up and having these feelings that a keynote without the possibility of seeing Steve Jobs wasn’t much of a keynote at all. Really, it wasn’t as good but it was pretty darn good anyway. My stupid faulty brain has turned the actuality into Tim Cook telling me that the new laptop was FABULOUS and so I got drunk and bought a FABULOUS new laptop the next night. It’s backordered, of course, and should arrive in July sometime. The teases at Apple have put the external optical drive in my hot little hands already, but what good is the drive without my FABULOUS new laptop? By the way, the night of the keynote (Monday night if you’re keeping track) was the last night Megan was still in town, so here’s what was for dinner.

I’m looking for the bottle in the middle.

I didn’t take may more pictures of dinners until Friday at La Mar with the horrible, horrible view and hanging out with a guy I only see once a year. Great guy to hang out with, even though he’s a Hurricanes fan.

What a week! I can’t wait to do it again.