Mumble mumble tired mumble.

I have been lax in my duties boring people with my boring boringness. Unfortunately, I’ve been jerked around a lot lately and that’s taken a lot of my time. It’s just the way it goes.

Today was another day taking out the old lath and plaster in a room. This time it was the laundry room. If I had any sense I would have started on it early because I can’t do any laundry until it’s over but I went to the gym and then out to get some lunch before I started. That just meant I didn’t finish until after 8PM. Now I’m even more tired. Hooray. And with the state of the laundry room, I won’t be able to use the washer or dryer for a while. Hooray.

This is a World Destruction

I’ve mentioned before that I get phrases stuck in my head. Unlike religious people who may get sacred texts stuck in their heads, I get bits and pieces of songs and movie scripts. Looks like I’m getting the opportunity to destroy another room this weekend. We’ll see how that goes.

Went out to dinner with the boys where we sat around speaking about our feelings. Our feelings about strip clubs is more like it, though we did spend an inordinate amount of time talking about how we’d cook with blueberries. I knew I had more work to do so I had more than one beer. Imran even bought ice cream. Did I mention he’s 8 feet tall and a very nice guy? And ladies, he’s single.

My new fitness goal.

There’s all this talk about fitness goals and i got caught up in it earlier this year when I thought I wanted to get fit enough to be invited to work out at Gym Jones. I really thought this was a good idea for about a week until I realized that it would require me to be a level of meathead that I am unaccustomed to interacting with, much less being. At some point my “FU” reflexes would probably kick in and things would degenerate into an ass-whooping that I would be on the wrong end of. Better to avoid situations like that.

So my new fitness goals are much more sensible. Or at least the goal is to be more sensible:

You probably don’t know Imran, but he’s a friend from the gym who is about eight feet tall.

So when he’s swinging a kettlebell, it’s probably going much further than I’m swinging it. Let’s say it’s proportional to height. I’m only 5′ 9 1/2″ (at least I used to be) and if he’s 8′ tall then that means he has to go 1.4 times further than I do. Since a swing is in an arc, let’s just multiply that times pi. Maybe even times the gravitational constant. That’s FORTY THREE times more work he has to do. But he’s probably FIFTY TIMES STRONGER than I am. At least he throws around those 28kg kettlebells when I’m grunting under the effort. I mean, he ran two laps around the gym in 1:12 when it took me 1:25. Let’s cube that because we’re three dimensional which would mean he’s ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE PERCENT FASTER than me. Plus he’s like half my age. I should not try to keep up with Imran.

OK, so you’re thinking my math is off. It often is when I’m comparing myself to Imran, who is stronger, smarter, and has a cooler name than me so I really should tell you my real goal. Really. Here it goes.

I want to keep doing things like this:

And keep looking like this:

Except maybe not so squinty.

I was going to post something.

I had this grand plan where I was going to say something but it’s time to move my sister’s blog to different software. All I have to say was that I BEGGED HER TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO QUIT PUTTING SPACES IN HER FILE NAMES and she NEVER LISTENS.

So now I have THREE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED LINKS to look through on her blog because of this which is going to take FOREVER. And I thought work was bad.

Oh, I just remembered I have two important emails to send out. So much for sleep.

Yeah, I’ve been going on blind dates.

OK, so not really blind dates, but dates with people met on online dating sites. Usually this doesn’t work for me, but somehow after being on OKCupid for three years, I’ve gone out with three people. I never talk about it because what if it works out? HAH. I’m no longer deluding myself.

But really, the important thing is WHAT I ATE on my last two blind dates. Both were messy, both were cheeseburgers. A couple of weeks ago I went to Bridgeport Brewery where they cooked my cheeseburger as rare as I wanted (as rare as they could get it) and I think it’s a solid pub burger.

But this weekend I went to Café Nell (which I always thought was almost great but never enough food) and got their great burger. It had thick smoky bacon, nicely seasoned meat cooked kind of rare, a runny sunnyside-up egg (the way I like it), nice unobtrusive bun, and sweet relish. It was tasty.

I think this goes on my list of best fancy burgers.

Well, I’m in a better mood now.

Who knew that Lululemon athletic shirts were so expensive. I’m guessing the answer is JUST ABOUT EVERYONE EXCEPT ME. I’m used to getting free t-shirts (as ugly as hey might be). If you just get enough of them then some of them turn out to look OK. My sister (much more of a shopper than I am) told me that athletic wear was just plain expensive and I should just suck it up. I’m sure I’m going to enjoy wearing the shirts. Someone asked if I looked good in them and my answer, however was, “Who is going to care?”

I was in a bad mood when I got home, but not bad enough that I wasn’t trying to figure out why I was in a bad mood. I didn’t want to drink any free wine at a wine tasting or eat any free cupcakes. My stomach felt too empty. I realized that I’d had another awful $6 salad at work because I didn’t have time to escape campus to get something to eat. Not only are the salads expensive but they’re kind of tiny and I was starving by the time I finished my workout at the gym. Part of it was running like a maniac around the block, and I was beat by a 34YO and a 29YO to which I can really only say, “Whatever.”

Work continues to be hectic, and my boss let me know that he wants me to do EVEN MORE. I know he’s right and his suggestions are given with the best intentions, but what timing. It’s not like I have a whole lot of spare time.

And I should really be happy, I think I got a refund for my iPhone 4 bumper. I know it’s only $27 or so, but it’s better than nothing.

What is wrong with me?

A co-worker and I were walking down the hallways today and we both felt like the week had beaten us senseless already. And it was only noon on Tuesday. I think it may be a long week.

But of course I’m still up. Does that mean I don’t have the sense that god gave a newt? Well, first I’d have to agree about the concept of “god” and how I probably don’t think of “god” in any sense other than an abstract representation of the universe as a whole and second I’d have to ask what the question was again because right now I’m thinking that the most attractive woman is one who is carrying a Baskin Robbins Clown Face ice cream cake. You know the one I’m talking about. I used to work at a place where we got cake for everyone’s birthday and the Clown Face cake was my favorite. We got it as a joke and I rated it above the Pearl Bakery and Ja Civa’s. Man it was tasty.

I wonder if that’s my problem. I haven’t tried seducing women with ice cream. Huh.

Demolition man.

I should have said something about finishing my destruction yesterday, but I was too tired to remember. I spent most of the weekend tearing out the lath and plaster in my bathroom because, well, if the contractor does it he has to put in positive pressure airflow and suit up like a spaceman, etc. I haven’t heard of a good reason for it besides the lead paint. The way I figure it is that I’m only going to do this once or twice in my life, not for a living. And now I can say I don’t ever want to do it again, though I probably will.

So Sean and I teamed up to form Team DFL at the gym today, and poor Jenny got roped in as well. Actually, I miscalculated, and I think we weren’t really DFL and Sean even punted on two of five rounds of ball slams. Whatever. You’re only cheating yourself, but when you have a team with one guy who did Seattle-to-Portland in one very long day, and one guy who was trapped in a sealed bathroom with googles, a facemask, a Harbor Freight fake Sawzall, a prybar, and a hammer you’re probably going to get pretty slow times. I’m surprised they didn’t find us curled up on the floor passed out or crying after that workout.

Ah well. Life continues, and work is busy, busy, busy.

My fingers hurt.

I got stood up at the “Beer n Burgers” thing today but that wasn’t the worst thing that happened to me today. I mean, I got to eat five sliders and taste at least a half-dozen beers today so wandering around by myself wasn’t all that bad. Or all that uncommon so whatever.

I didn’t really need to drink any more after going out for Tiff’s birthday and having several beers last night but at least I wasn’t hung over. Not real sure how Tiff ended the night, because people kept buying her shots all night long. Ah to be 26 again.

The “Beer n Burgers” thing did take me away from gutting the downstairs bathroom, though. What a mess that was. Not sure why my fingers hurt from tearing out all sorts of lath and plaster. I had long sleeves, safety glasses, hearing protection, and a dust mask on, and I still got crap all over me. The plaster turned out to be more like concrete, so the dust wasn’t so bad, but tearing out the ceiling is an experience that I really don’t enjoy. Plus the ceiling had all that weird old fluffy insulation in it. And to start off, my fake Sawzall was dead and I had to buy another. Good thing both of them were Harbor Freight specials that only cost $20 each. The new ones even have a keyless chuck for the blades!

Anyway, most of my day was destroying stuff and I’m beat. Only a little bit more cleanup and I should be finished.


I’ve just been told that my blog has been a bit of a bummer lately. BIG SURPRISE, but really LATELY? I guess someone just started reading all this crap and didn’t go back very far.

My usual plans for the weekend are on hold (and the usual plan was probably to learn more iPhone programming) and I get to assist with the demolition of the bathroom so the contractor can get on with the renovation. Nothing exciting in the downstairs bathroom, just new cabinets and fixtures, but we have to tear out the old tub and the walls to get things going. The shame is that the demolition revealed tile below the ugly old vinyl floor that was really pretty cool.

Unfortunately, the new tub is a different size and so the tile had to go. Darn it, it’s pretty cool.

In any case, I see a lot of rubble being generated this weekend. I hope I don’t break anything that we really need.

Best burgers?

One of the local “alternative newspapers” Willamette Week rated the burgers in town and I almost agree with them. Their #1 burger is like my #2. My #1 wasn’t on their list, and some of the things on their top 10 were suspicious (Foster Burger is definitely up and down). In any case, I’m going to list my top three “fancy” burgers and my top three “pub” burgers. For some reason I make a distinction.

In the fancy category, my top burger is from Laurelhurst Market. Every time I take the first bite of that burger I remember why I like it so much. The burger on the menu isn’t the one I like, however, since it usually comes with pimento cheese and I get it with cheddar. I mean, really, pimento? I’ve only ever had the stuff in Oscar Meyer cold cuts and pimento loaf was just baloney with that weird tasting cheese in it. The meat is good though sometimes overcooked (they don’t like rare there for some reason) and it’s complimented by the tomato relish and the bun. I may be blindsided by the cheesecake, there, though. One bite is OK, but when it starts to coat your taste buds it’s quite a wonderful taste that I think everyone should experience. WIllie Week didn’t have this burger in their top 10.

Second in fancy would have been the Carlyle, but they closed earlier this year. I really liked the burger there. Since they’re gone I probably have to say it’s the burger at Metrovino, which Willie Week said was their top choice. A double-patty of great beef and the relish and bun were good as well. The owner was especially nice and that wins points too. I need to go back. They’re in my neighborhood.

Third, well, I can’t think of a third. Wildwood was great when I went with a small group, but a large group was disappointed there. It was WIllie Week’s #8.

I was disappointed by Meriwethers on my second try (the first was good), Paley’s Place, and Yakuza in the fancier burgers. Violetta is almost great (needs more relish but the meat is good and the bun tended to fall apart) and

In pub burgers, I’d say Hopworks is #1, Slow Bar is #2, and The Maiden (gone now) would be #3. I could stick Foster Burger in there but they’re iffy.

Also, Five Guys Burger and Fries is consistently tasty for a fast food burger and Skyline holds a place in my heart. Helvetia is kind of crap now if you ask me. A burger that people think is that special shouldn’t need that much ketchup to taste good.