Well, there you go. I even got an invitation to become a Facebook friend with someone who looks like a real person who wrote in COMPLETE SENTENCES with no MISSPELLINGS. They liked my blog postings, thank you very much. In any case, I don’t think I’m an extreme pessimist at all. An extreme pessimist is the guy who thinks, “Wow, lots of good things are happening to me right now and I wonder how it’s all going to turn to shit,” where I’m more likely to think, “Well this isn’t turning out the way I’d hoped, what now?” And in my experience it usually does go slightly downhill. I’d think that was more along the lines of being a slightly negative realist. Most people who work in a customer service related field know what I’m talking about.

So here’s another mystery for you: I go to the gym five times a week, lifting moderate weights like 24kg kettlebells dozens of times (that’s 53lbs snatched on each arm at least 5x 12 times each arm) or deadlifting 325lbs and I got a cramp in my back by screwing an anchor into drywall to mount a flashlight onto the wall. Basically, that’s using a screwdriver on something that is about as tough as butter. As my dad would say, “What the hell?”

Back to the intarweb, though, those fake Facebook friend invitations are nice to get, too. Lots of photos of attractive women and interesting emails that sound like,

I very nice girl, very much like to go in for sports I run more often! I wish to find to myself the person with which would be happy!!! Very much I wait for your letters!!!”

Oh, wait, that’s just a cut-and-paste of a personals email I got last week. The realist in me (not the pessimist) knows I don’t have it in me to date a real “very nice girl” who “very much wait for my letters” but at least it’s nice to see that the intarweb scammers are still thinking about me. It’s nice to be wanted.

Maybe I should go check match.com again, or as I like to call it, “I don’t know what I’m looking for but it sure the hell ain’t you dot com.” I figure I should finish one of the eleven fiction books I have in my stack before I start in on that sort of intarweb fiction, even if I am throwing away a monthly fee on it.

Some people have such easy lives that they think a hamburger is going to make me suicidal. I guess they could be right, if they thought that my lack of aggressiveness in looking for female companionship is going to keep me from passing on my genetic legacy and that could be thought of as suicidal. Or if my lack of belief in their god will exclude me from their afterlife, so then I’ll be dead, dead, dead when I die and that can be thought of as suicidal. But in either case, I DIDN’T COME TO MY EXISTENTIAL DECISIONS BECAUSE OF A MOTHERFUCKING HAMBURGER.

OK, to be fair, I should have said BACON CHEESEBURGER, because in my life there is a serious difference between the two, but you get my idea.

I’m thinking some people have no idea how to spot the suicidal. The most depressed I’ve ever felt was when they were jerking me around between various anti-depressants which I probably didn’t need in the first place. You start up with some of those and you can feel incredibly despondent and I don’t ever want to feel like that again. But when I was feeling that way (and this was nine years ago?) I didn’t behave like I did the other night. I wasn’t blogging or complaining. I was calling the doctor’s office asking why I was feeling so horrible and if the goddamn medication was at fault. They said probably, and they gave me the number for the suicide prevention hotline. A fat lot of good they were.

Ah, well. I told my sister this and she laughed. She said, “You write that crap to be funny, and if they don’t like it they don’t have to read it.” Which is exactly what I’ve said on numerous occasions. Then we talked about external CD drives for her netbook or something. I’m only useful when I’m being a geek.

OK, so I did get a WiMax modem lately, and I can download things incredibly quickly now. I have a DSL connection so I can run some servers, but that’s reliable but slow. So I got this WiMax because, well, I have money to spend on silly things like this. Well, I downloaded all I wanted, and now it’s kind of just sitting around eating up juice. Ah, well, maybe I can stream Netflix with it or something.