I was supposed to get one of my last Carlyle burgers tonight but I got stood up. It wasn’t a big deal, but I’m still counting it. I thought about going by myself, weighing the the hedonistic benefits of a delicious cheeseburger with the health benefits of a nice leafy salad, and I picked the salad. I’m not really sure why, because delayed gratification has to have some sort of gratification at the end. Being fat, dumb, and happy requires a certain commitment to the calories that I’m just not getting lately. Oh, well, I had to scrub the toilet anyway. Oh, and do some work. It probably says something when I’d rather scrub the toilet than do work.

My friend described himself as one hoodie away from being the Unabomber today, but he’s married and has twin babies so I’m pretty sure he’s not able to hide himself in his own dungeon. I’m pretty certain the Unabomber stayed away from technology so I’m in no danger of that either, but I think if I just got some anime I could be an otaku. Sounds like a lot of work and kind of expensive, what with the trips to the maid bars and all.