Last week it was cold outside during the day. I think there were days in the 60’s and, in any case, it actually rained. But today it was 91°F. Probably even more here in the city. The workout at the gym included 3 laps around the block and I have a hard time with more than 2 on a good day. The sudden heat and my trying to cough up a lung after being in the basement all weekend (blowing black snot) didn’t help either.

When I left for the gym there was a girl down at the school practicing tennis against the wall. She was wearing shorts and a bikini top. I would have taken a better look, but I figure anyone with that sort of fashion sense is probably very, very young. An exhibitionist wouldn’t be behind the school and anyone closer to my age would probably be wearing long sleeves and sunscreen.

I could always try to embrace my inner dirty old man and break out my trench coat and a bag of candy, but I don’t have the kind of aberrant tenacity to pull that off. First, it’s too hot to wear a trench coat and it only comes out of my closet when I’m wearing my suit and it’s raining like for a funeral. (The suit only comes out for weddings and funerals and weddings are usually during the sunny season.)

And how in the hell would I keep a bag of candy in the house? First, I’d eat some for a sample. Then I’d have to make sure that the sample was representative of the rest of the bag. Then I’d have eaten almost half, so I’d have to eat approximately half of the candy. Then I’d accidentally east some more. Well, now that I was almost 2/3 of the way through the bag, I’d have to get to 2/3. But a 1/3 of a bag of candy is close to 1/4 so I could eat a bit more. And 1/4 bag of candy isn’t worth keeping around so I’d have to finish it all. This theory seems to apply to cookies and cupcakes as well.

So, I think I’ll stick to the ice cream as a vice, if I only had some ice cream.

P.S. I put some pictures of plumbing on yesterday’s post.