Funny to-do list.

It’s funny to me how my to-do list doesn’t seem to carry over from day-to-day. Then again, I went to get more “rolfing” and that pretty much put most of my thoughts out of my head. It wasn’t until 8:30PM when I realized that tomorrow is already October and I needed to get a new bus pass for the month. Since I’m doing it for conservation as well as being cheap, I walked to the local food co-op, in the pouring rain, to buy it rather than driving to get it.

Other than that, I didn’t do that much. I should start buying gifts for my trip to Japan. My boss said it was OK to go, so I’m leaving in late October. Haven’t been for fifteen years. I bet things have changed.

Sleepy day.

I don’t do much on the weekends, so I usually just pick something on my “to do” list to make it seem like I’m doing something. Watching several football games and catching up on the TV shows from earlier in the week is good, but it really doesn’t amount to much. I went out to breakfast with friends and out to dinner with my mom, but I didn’t really accomplish the things on my list.

Today I was going to clean the gutters, find a “leaf plug” for one particular downspout, fix the chimney cap, go through some more of my dad’s stuff, and move my dad’s books into one room. I did clean the gutters but that was about it. Somehow I need to make my list bigger or just post it on all my walls, so I don’t forget it. Ghostly letters following me around would be good, too. What I know doesn’t work is things like Palm Pilots.

Oh, and I found out that they changed the voicemail number for my cell phone. The AT&T web site didn’t say anything and they didn’t mail me anything. I had to call and ask. Sheesh. Good thing I hardly get any phone calls.

No poop at the gym.

I didn’t get in any trouble at the gym today because there really wasn’t anyone there. I didn’t do any cardio because I had no poop. Why, you might ask, did I have no poop? Well, the air was let out of my balloon today when the General Manager of our group at Megacorp said some pretty silly things.

First he said we need to, “Be at work 100%” OK, so I have been slacking a bit but I’ve also been told to run around in circles a lot. Why tire myself out when I know I’m not doing anything of worth? Just the fact that someone that important told EVERYONE to work “smarter” just goes to show that there’s something wrong.

Then he said, “Something something 10% headcount reduction.” So I started paying more attention. He then said that the group I’m in is being de-emphasized because it didn’t sound like a good idea. Under his breath he said that the interesting thing I’m working on is detrimental to corporate strategy. So, not only is there a headcount reduction but what I’m working on is now declared harmful.

I started out the day thinking I’d ask for a couple of weeks off to visit Japan since I haven’t been for FIFTEEN YEARS. I was going to go a couple of years ago but got this awful job at Megacorp and they told me I had to start right away and eat my plane ticket if I wanted the job. The headcount announcement is supposed to happen about when I wanted to be in Japan. Well, I may not have the job limiting my travels if I wait this out.

Gym rules.

I was kind of told today that there are gym rules. Don’t talk to people. Don’t make eye contact. The only verbalization is to say, “Hey buddy, need a spot?” But I have to say, “Eff that.” Already I’ve decided that the last guy who is mad at me is humorless and should be nicknamed, “Precious.” I want to say, “HEY BUDDY, I WAS MAKING FUN OF YOUR TOO-TIGHT MUSCLE T-SHIRTS. YOU WEAR THEM EXCLUSIVELY. YOU DO THAT TOO MUCH AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK YOU’RE A NARCISSIST.” I was going to say, “THINK YOU’RE GAY,” but he is gay. Wouldn’t be making much of a point there.

I’m probably being a little harsh there, but humorlessness should not be tolerated. That and poor use of grammar even though I have noticed that my muscle memory on the keyboard makes me type, “you’re,” even when I mean, “your.” I have to watch that. I broke up with a woman once because she couldn’t spell, “Surprise.” Well, OK, that’s just one reason and it’s just because I have issues, but I can say it’s because she couldn’t spell.

Cranky people.

Man, I’m always getting on someone’s bad side at the gym lately. I think it’s because a lot of the employees are on edge because the place is getting close to going under AGAIN. My gym seems very poorly managed, as far as I can tell, and the last two times I’ve gone someone has been talking about how they’re financially circling the drain. Good thing I prepaid for two years membership. Ah, well, that might have been about a year ago, so I could be only slightly screwed. I heard they’re opening an LA Fitness fairly close by. I could also try to join the Multnomah Athletic Club if I was feeling especially rich.

I told my sister about my inquiries into joining the MAC club and she was speechless. I’m not really a big fan of rich people, so the whole idea seemed ludicrous to her. That’s really why I was looking into it. I need more levity in my life. I sure ain’t getting it at my gym.

I need new golf clubs.

Another one of the neighbors was yelling at the crowd today. She needed to get out of her driveway and of course it was blocked by people coming to see the birds. It’s bad when someone can make a peace activist yell. I guess you don’t want to block her driveway when she needs to get downtown before something closes.

My co-worker took a week off of work to go golfing with his wife. He bought new clubs and now he’s trying to get me to do the same. I should probably learn how to play with the clubs I already have, even though there are other clubs rated much higher.

The book I’m currently reading is The Devil in White City which was given to me by Carolyn’s friend Heidi for helping her fix her blog. If I recall, I didn’t have to do all that much and so far this book is pretty interesting. Much more interesting than most factual books, anyway.

My neighbors are also tired of the crowds.

My newer neighbors are getting very tired of the swifts. The people, more than the swifts, but you know what I mean. One started yelling at the people on the hill because her driveway was blocked for the second time this year and she was already in a bad mood because she has a teenage daughter. I was on the phone calling the police non-emergency number, ready to get the bad parker a ticket, but they showed up and drove away.

My experience with the birds was unique but much less annoying. I just got pooped on.

Another Friday night in the ‘hood.

I sort of was invited next door to watch the birds with my neighbor so I drank a bunch of his beers and a few of his dangerous margaritas. I also ate some of his pizza. I am a bad neighbor. It was a lot of fun, however, and I did remain conscious until the end. The last time I drank margaritas at my neighbor’s house, I apparently gave a dude some money and I didn’t remember that at all. In all honesty, it was for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training, and I got a nice thank you card, but it sounds better when I met a woman, a fellow MIT alum, and gave her boyfriend some money and then blacked out. Let me tell you, some rheumatologists pour very dangerous margaritas.

Today was much more boring. I finished reading Twilight Watch, sprayed the weeds, and started watching episodes of Heroes because I didn’t watch it last year. I’m never going to catch up in time for the start of the series this year. Oh, well.

Man, did I get chewed out at the gym.

There’s this woman at the gym I haven’t seen for a while. I say hello to her every time I see her because, well, she is attractive and possibly closer to my age than most. She has a giant yellow walkman, and that’s somehow attractive. She is also married and looks like she needs a cookie. That’s code for meaning I think she’s so skinny I was worried that she might be sick. Anyway, she was in for the first time in months and working out with Dana the trainer. I said hello to her, told her I was glad to see her back, and made fun of Dana’s picture on the trainer’s wall. Later, after she was gone, I told Dana I was happy she was in and looking like she had put on a little weight.

Well, one of the managers took umbrage at my comments and later told me, “Y-y-you have the s-s-sensitivity of a s-s-stone.” I think he overthought his reprimand and it made his delivery a little sloppy, since he never stuttered before. He also said something about her eating disorder, which is private information I had no idea about. Dana, however, thought I was perfectly cordial to the woman and any snarky comments were nothing out of the ordinary for me.

Other than that, work still sucks. It sucks a bit less since I have something to do, but it still sucks. We even had an honest-to-goodness firedrill which showed me how little the clowns in this campus prepare. We went out the emergency exit and then we were stuck behind a locked gate. They opened the gate after a while so we weren’t trapped. A really obese guy with a bullhorn came out to tell us when and how to get back in, but the bullhorn didn’t have any batteries in it. If we really do have an emergency, they’ll have to fire me because I plan on getting out and keeping on going until I’m miles away. I’m not staying at any sort of “assembly point.” Screw that.

Plotting to no avail.

So today the crowd for the stupid birds (actually the stupid crowds for the birds) was HUGE. Just slightly fewer people than the weekend, so maybe 1800 people on the hill? I’m so ready for it to be over. I did meet a guy on the hill who was the eldest son (oldest son?) of my first Scoutmaster, a guy who loved hiking and backpacking. Later on someone came up to me and asked, “Are you Mariko’s brother?” That’s pretty much it. I’m Mariko’s brother.

Yesterday at golf I was quizzing a guy about country club memberships. I was thinking that if the greens fees were waived, you could negate the monthly dues. He was talking up his club so I looked up some of the fees. The initiation fee for his club is THIRTY-EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS ($38,000) according to the intarweb. I think that dude, who is probably in his early-to-mid-thirties, is making a lot more scratch than I am. So much for my plotting. I’ll just keep playing the public courses.

Golf vacation.

I played in a golf tournament today. It was a scramble, which meant I could be a complete screw-up and we’d use someone else’s shots. It was actually a lot of fun and the guys I played with, a neighbor and his friends, were excellent golf partners. And instead of raining like the weather report said, it was a beautiful day.

I must admit that I drank more than I usually do, but there was this cart driving around and they were saying, “FREE DRINKS!” And then we had a free drink ticket for lunch. And then my neighbor’s friend was buying beers because he didn’t want to go back to work. I took the day off, but I was still considering doing some work-related things on my computer at home. Well, I didn’t do any of that. I did make it home and to the gym, but I’m not sure I was 100% sober. One drink per hour and we had six hours, but who knows?

I’m a boring guy.

I’m really a boring guy. Maybe my health issues make me a little unique, but for the most part I stick to my middle-of-the-road life. I live in a fairly nice neighborhood in the city, where I stick out because I don’t make as much money as the newer neighbors. I shop at regular stores. I drive a brand new economy car. Even though I get in arguments with people from time to time, I’m pretty much law abiding. So I guess riding public transit is my only real exposure to people who aren’t in a similar situation. I got on the light rail to head home and I saw a family of grandmother, mom, dad, and daughter with a big balloon that said, “Congratulations.” I thought maybe daughter (who was in her 30’s maybe) might have been pregnant. But mom started talking about how it was, “Nice to be out,” and after doing one day of community service she wanted to be locked up for 45 days instead of having to put up with all the crap.

The family was across the aisle and weren’t so bad. If nothing else, they weren’t too loud. There was a guy behind me who was screaming into my ear, and possibly into his cell phone, about getting his mom into rehab and how he’s pretty much going to have to write her off if she didn’t take it seriously. He talked for probably 30 minutes until we went into a tunnel.

For some reason that wasn’t as annoying as the normal people who got on after the family and cell-phone guy got off and started talking without taking a breath about the winners of the Emmy awards. One “normal” woman, who was a bit older, didn’t have her bus pass on her company ID as is required. She had it on her driver’s license and the fare inspector made her peel it off (which destroys it) and put it on her company ID (which she loses quite regularly according to her loud conversation with the inspector.)

I get to miss the drama tomorrow because I’m skipping work to play in a charity golf tournament. I’m guessing I’m going to get the high score tomorrow. Yay!