Just in case people don’t recognize this as being a joke, IT IS A JOKE. I’m not even going to name the person who I was not stalking because she is a public official.

In any case, I met my friend Greg when I was in grade school in Boy Scouts. He’s 3 years older than me, so I was in 5th grade and he was in 8th grade. Like any 8th grade boy, he had several girls he was always talking about, and I mean ALWAYS. One of them is now a prominent local government official so I’ve seen her name in the paper and I’ve been wanting to meet her since I was in 5th grade. Like I said, Greg was ALWAYS talking about her. She was at my neighbor’s birthday party yesterday and I finally was able to tell her this story. 5th grade was 27 years ago so I just sounded like a crazy person, but that’s not too far from the truth.

It was a beautiful day today and you know I spent it indoors. You’d think I would say I was playing with my computer and I couldn’t deny it. However, to make it an extra-special day, I was DOING MY PARENTS’ TAXES. Woo baby, that’s fun. Good thing we’re not rich and don’t have weird investments. They’re getting a whole $18 back from the state, I think. I’m getting a refund because I bought a Civic last year and there’s a tax credits for us weirdos who like that sort of thing.

Oh, and I think I’d make a really bad wine taster. There was a wine tasting “game” at the birthday party yesterday, where the wine bottles were hidden by paper bags and you were supposed to rate them and maybe even try to guess what they were. There was one unpopular white wine that I though smelled like a mop bucket and tasted like cheese. Somehow I don’t think those are proper oenophile terms.