Cold or colder.

It’s supposed to be 20 degrees or so tonight and possibly windy. I don’t know if the roofers have gotten here but I’m thinking the answer is “No.”

I think Dave the trainer was distracted today. He had a date later on in the evening and didn’t seem as focused on his devious tortures. I’ve been doing a lot of balancing exercises, but nothing like this guy at the gym who stands on the Swiss ball while doing dumbell lateral raises. He has incredible concentration; I can’t even maintain balance on one foot when there are attractive women walking around. Sometimes I even get distracted by my own reflection in the mirror, because I think, “Who’s that funny looking guy?” or “Are my legs really that big?”

I saw my “dream girl” at the gym and she snickered at me again. Well, Rule #1 is, “Don’t talk to your dream girl.” Rule #2 is, “Don’t talk to your dream girl.” Rule #3 was, “No poofters,” or something, but I think I’m a little too homophilic to have that rule.

Not many pictures.

In fact, I was about to take a picture of the chocolate my sister gave me, but that meant I had to take it out of the box it came in and then it meant I had to bite it. And eat it, of course, because it’s chocolate after all. I wonder if that’s what gave me the stomach ache I have now. Oh, well.

I was told that the new colors of the walls at Megacorp are hideous. Sort of sickly yellow. I kind of like them. The standard color scheme at megacorp is grey. It’s very institutional, like a hospital. But, like I told my co-workers today, I didn’t get into medical school so I never want to be in a hospital again. Ever. Being in a hospital just means someone is sick and that’s not a happy thing.

Happy Oregon’s Birthday.

I really have nothing much to mention. My sister gave me a chocolate heart with a FAIRY on it (quite fancy, mind you) but that’s about as Valentiney as today got. After torturing me at the gym, Dave the Trainer was having dinner with his ex and he told me she seemed suspicious. I expect he’ll treat the event as I would and drink entirely too much.

Other than that I got nothing.

Collecting things.

On the way to work today I noticed something very odd. When I accelerated, the car pulled to the left. When I took my foot off the accelerator, the car pulled to the right. If I had any sense, I would have pulled off the road, but this was on the second-half of my trip to work, the part where I’m in the middle of nowhere and you can’t get off the freeway. When I got to work I noticed that my tire was low. I used AAA for the first time since I started paying for it in 1992, and a tow truck came to give me some air. They also found a screw in my tire, so I drove immediately to the tire store to get it fixed. Who wants to be trapped at work? There really isn’t too much more to the story besides coming back to work and finding NO parking spots. I would have gone home, but my stuff was still inside.

An incredibly attractive me.

Who wouldn’t be attracted to a guy walking down the street carrying a toilet seat? A BRAND NEW toilet seat? Last night as I was doing some important thinking, the toilet seat cracked and today I had to repair it. This makes me wonder, just how big is my ass now?

My laptop is also kind of falling apart. There’s this weird screw that gets loose and can’t be tightened without taking the whole thing apart, and then the latch broke as well. I called for my extended warantee service and they thought I’d bought the laptop in January 2003, putting the thing just out of warantee. Well, I just found the receipt and it was April of 2003, putting it just IN warantee.

Other than that I actually spent the weekend reading books. That’s something I haven’t done in a while.

Oh, m*th#rf#ck#ng h#ll.

I think I found out why the window is buzzing. It’s from the flashing on the edge of the roof! The window makes the noise, but it starts up on the flashing and it conducts down to the window.

I figured it out because it was finally warm enough and dry enough but windy as all hell, so while the wind was blowing and I sat there with my head out the window until I started hearing the buzzing noise. I’ll have to call the roofers tomorrow. It’s been a several years since we got the house re-roofed. I wonder why it started buzzing all of a sudden? Ah, well, at least the mystery is solved (or so I hope).

Like the lawyer told me, though, it didn’t make noise before the window replacement and it makes noise now, so I’m guessing the installers accidentally hit the flashing with their ladders. At least this is something that I might be able to fix myself.

The torture of the gym.

Last Saturday, as I was on a some sort of cardio torture device (next to a very attractive young woman) I saw a Coca-Cola ad on one of the TVs for a Coke float. I mentioned to the woman, “That’s why I come to the gym.” And in reality, food is probably the reason. Today while I was on the same machine, I was giving several the the people around me (all women by the way) the evil eye. Somehow, I smelled angel food cake and I thought that was the most devious and alluring perfume I could think of. Well, other people smelled it too. (Of course I asked them. I am afraid of being as nuts as my sister accuses me of being.)

Dreams and where they get me.

Last night I had a dream where a friend of mine told me that there was a job opening at the Catholic church/Red Cross and so I quit my job at Megacorp to take it. As the dream progressed the job seemed less and less. I was riding a train across a river, and we made it to a snow slide on the opposite bank and I thought about trying to get my job back.

OK, so I have no idea what any of that means.

I saw a woman a woman at the gym yesterday that I’ve decided is my “dream woman.” I’m not sure why I’ve decided that, besides the idea that I keep my fantasies and reality separate and there ain’t no way I’m asking out a hot waitress/Oriental medicine student who works out most days of the week. My puerile fantasy might have gotten back to her since I saw her walking with her friend and snickering at me. Mmmm. Snickers…

Fatty fat fatty.

OK, so I’m not that huge, but I now weigh as much as I ever have. When I came back from Japan I weighed 65kg or 143lbs. Now I weigh 180! I think by rough BMI estimates I’m only supposed to weigh 171 or something. Oh, well. I have noticed that my shoulders are stronger and I actually have biceps now. But my waistline isn’t getting any smaller.

So lately I’ve been getting home from work later than I want. Megacorp is a multinational corporation and as such we work with spatially diverse teams. What that really means is that there are guys on my project who get into work as I’m trying to leave. Then they start calling me on the phone and leaving me nasty instant messages. Ah, well. Turns out I didn’t have to bail out too early today since my trainer (and several others) are sick right now so I didn’t have a set schedule at the gym tonight.

Oh, and the lawyer suggested several things I could pursue and says it’s obvious to him that the noise wasn’t present before the construction and was present afterwards so I have legal means of getting paid back if I have to get it fixed. It’s only reasonable to try to get Pella to fix it without doing anything like that, but I’m not completely stuck. Either way, though, I have to do it on my own because it would cost too much to get a lawyer involved. This all still cuts into my sleep time.

Time to see if I’m screwed.

Tomorrow I get to pay $100 to a lawyer to see what he thinks of my window situation. I called Pella again today to let them know that yes, the window is still a pain in my ass, and yes, the record windstorm on Friday night did cause my window to buzz. They still had NO SUGGESTIONS for me. So, I made an appointment with a construction lawyer (who, for $100 may tell me to get the hell out of his office) and then called back to talk to the local Pella Operations Manager. At least he prromised to call the main office again.

I figure talking to a lawyer is a good thing because he’s probably been present at plenty of screwings, and so he’ll know if I’m totally screwed. I know a certain person who makes more than that just to blow dry a person’s hair will tell me I’m wasting my money, but if people didn’t waste their money then the economy wouldn’t go anywhere, right? And what the hell am I going to spend the money on anyway?

Oh, yeah, on Mariko. I bought her a coat today and then SHE STOPPED TALKING TO ME. I figure she got what she wanted and she’ll start talking to me when she picks out the shoes she wants me to buy her. (It’s all for a very late Xmas present so I’m not too worried about it. Well, besides the NOT TALKING TO ME part.)

Super Bowl Extra Large

The Superbowl must have been over around 7PM or so, but we didn’t leave the bar until close to 10PM. I was watching the game with my old co-worker and my old boss. We were talking afterwards about this and that and we kind of closed the place down.

I think it would have been less distracting to watch the game where I wasn’t on the path to the Ladies’ Room, but that made for a more interesting night as well.

Time to buy another pair of sweatpants.

Spilling soup on one’s only pair of sweatpants makes for a cold walk to the gym. I figure that’s just me complaining, and I was told that a board certified psychiatrist was reading my blog and saying, “He complains a lot. He should take Prozac. It’s really cheap at Costco.” (At least I’m assuming they were board certified.)

So during the middle of the day there was a car from the Geek Squad parked out front. Kind of funny, if you ask me. My sister saw the car and said, “Geek Squad? Who need them? Just ask my brother the questions. It’s cheaper and quicker.” My buddy Greg said, “Geek squad? Don’t you do that stuff for free?”

Geek Squad car

Turns out my neighbors are sharing their wireless and they both bought laptops. The neighbor next door got a brand new iBook, I’m afraid the other neighbor now has some sort of other computer.