I knew when I signed up for the trainer that he’d try to sign me up for more time. I mean, a trainer usually charges more than $50/hr and this was $99 for three hours. Anyway, I figured I’d see him at least once every couple of months or so. Well, he got me talked into two more weekly torture sessions and then some more after that. $262.50 worth. Well, maybe I’ll be all buff in time to lose it all during my Japan trip.

Oh, and hey, I got some pr0n spam for the first time in over a year. Finally, some spam I can use!

I mention often that Asian dudes ain’t getting any play in Portland, and the only exception to that is if the woman is FOB. So, I put my profile on match.com at someone’s suggestion (another married amateur cultural anthropologist) and I got the first reply to online dating I’ve had in, what, TEN YEARS.

OK, I had ONE in the past, but she quit emailing me when I boldy and brashly suggested that we meet in person. According to her profile, she had two ginormous dogs who probably would eat me or provide me with piles of my least favorite thing on the planet, dog poop. Perhaps it was all for the best.

Anyway, the match.com reply I got was from Guangzhou, China! What the hell is up with that? A fine message in English from someone who claims to have never attended high school? Sure, I’ll send you a plane ticket to meet me as soon as this Nigerian dude sends me my share of this secret $25 million deal we have going on.