Let me cheapen your marriage.

The Oregon Supreme Court (I think) threw out all 3000 gay marriages that were performed in Multnomah County. I guess the county broke some state law. HEY STATE OF OREGON, I’M RATING YOU ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FIVE ON MY RIGHT HAND. I’M GIVING YOU A ONE. You can guess which finger I’m using to rate the state law. I could go on about this, but let it’ll just make me mad, like everything else.

Here’s something else. This, in comparison, is incredibly minor. As I was walking to work today, a guy was backing up out of an illegal parking spot and just about ran me over. Since he was partially in the crosswalk already, he didn’t have far to express his homicidal urges. So, of course, I said, “What the hell?” and he rated my walking on a scale of one to five and gave me a one. He stopped and got out of his car so I walked back and said, “Look, I’m sorry, but what the hell were you thinking?” He said, “It’s all cool,” which translates to “SCREW YOU, I’M YOUNG, YOU’RE OLD, SO LA-DEE-DAH.” I asked, “Why did you flip me off?” and he made some weird nonverbal noise with his mouth which also translates to, “SCREW YOU, I’M YOUNG, YOU’RE OLD, SO LA-DEE-DAH.” I shake my fist at you, you young punk!

Ah, well. That wasn’t as weird as the author who stopped me as I was limping home in my new Adidas. He wanted me to read (and, of course, buy) his new book. I stayed for the book reading and it turns out that six of us were pulled off the street and the rest of us were family friends of the guy. His pen name is “Andrea Peters” and the book he was hyping sounded like another book I read that I hated, my friend Il hated, and my friend Sun hated or at least disliked. The hated book is called, “The Magus,” by John Knowles and is basically about a guy who likes to mess with other people. Andrea Peters’ book is also supposed to be about a guy who likes to mess with people, plus the thing appears to be self-published. He’s written three books in nine months and I’m not so sure I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I have a stack of books to read already, and two of them need to go back to the library within the week.