I must hate everything cool.

So, lately some of my female friends have been telling me how much they love firemen and Joaquin Phoenix. I must admit that I’m not that keen on either. I mean, I do respect firemen and the job they do, but there’s a lot of swaggering going on there and with that swagger comes a huge dose of Male Answer Syndrome. Like most guys, I don’t like to be told “the answers” or what to do. Especially by guys who think they’re god’s gift to, well, everything, when their main qualification is that they have testosterone poisoning clouding their judgement making them too foolish to run away from a fire. And that they can grow a decent moustache.

And what’s up with Joaquin? Personally, I don’t find him attractive at all. He just creeps me out. Oh, well, there’s no chance I’ll be the poster boy for the hot and sexy, so I should just shut up. The 22-year-old at the gym even gave me the dirtiest look today, and not the good kind of dirty, either. But Joaquin is someone who really needs to grow a fireman’s moustache. Plus, he’s got nothing on my favorite gay actor, Tom Cruise.