A deluge of inadequacy.

So, of my newest (rich) neighbors, the wife happens to be my age. And I found out she went to my neighborhood high school. I didn’t go there, my sister did and I knew a lot of people there. I felt quite inadequate compared to them because they were the rich kids and I was the son of their gardener. Usually it doesn’t bother me and I think it’s funny. But when I looked up my neighbor’s picture in the Lincoln High School yearbook the paucity of my successes became quite evident to me. Seeing her 80’s preppie haircut was like a punch in my face.

Now there she is, with her PR job and her husband with his huge PR income, a newly remodeled house (that they’re just planning on selling after the remodelling is done), two kids, and two black BMW’s. Here I am living at home with my parents, making the same amount as the 20-year-old kids I work with. Less, if you count up the hours I work and divide.

So, my slight feeling of malaise is now tinged with sadness and awareness of failure. I think I’ll deal with it the way I did in high school, with my new box set of Duran Duran’s 12″ singles.