Tuesday I worked a little late. It was less than 2 hours, but that put me off of my scheduled plan to hit the gym and impede the serious weight lifters. I thought I’d hit the pharmacy, since I’d called in a prescription on Friday, and another at 8AM on Tuesday. Well, here it was, 8PM, and I was told that my prescriptions weren’t ready. The pharmacist hadn’t gotten to them and I’d have to wait 30-45 minutes. Well, that meant no working out.

Today I got a call from my doctor’s office. The people at OHSU (who I lovingly refer to as “those effing bastards who didn’t let me into medical school and who think they’re so effing smart”) lost my bone marrow aspiration. Although they finally found the aspirate, I have to go in for a blood draw early Monday morning because the bone marrow aspirate was too effing old by the time they found it. I went through an incredibly painful and expensive process where they take a HUGE NEEDLE and shove it INTO MY BONE and they lose the sample?

This leads to two questions:

1. What kind of effing morons do they have at OHSU? The only excuse I expect to hear is, “You should have known not to do this before a holiday weekend.” I pay (or insurance pays) a buttload of money for these lab tests and for that kind of money (and that kind of pain) I expect those effing morons to do the right thing and NOT LOSE THE SAMPLE.
2. If I can get the same results with a blood draw, then WHY IN THE HELL ARE THEY SHOVING A HUGE, PAINFUL, AND EXPENSIVE NEEDLE INTO MY HIP BONE?

So, really, I’m not as upset as you’d think. I also think I get to pay for the lost sample, the useless but painful aspiration that created the lost sample, and probably for the labwork that was scheduled but not done on the lost sample.

Great, it’s 11:33PM and I just got a phone call where the person on the other end of the line was crying and wouldn’t talk. Let’s see, my last girlfriend dumped ME, and that was almost three years ago. I can’t imagine that it wasn’t a wrong number.